


Unlike flowers and stars

by rosecaramel321



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Destiny, Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love, Fantasy, Fluff, M/M, Nature spirit Jihoon, Some Swearing, human soonyoung, kind of modern fantasy, some angst for the plot, very self-indulgent, very soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26522836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosecaramel321/pseuds/rosecaramel321
Summary: When his mom begged him to go to a shrine in hopes of getting some sort of divine help with his love life, Soonyoung never expected an actual spirit to appear out of nowhere and make a deal with him! Pretty hard to believe but, he has now a spirit living with him, claiming he won’t go until he makes a wish. But why is it that, the longest he spends with the spirit, the less he can think of a wish to make?
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 47
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there, I hope you're doing fine! 
> 
> This story occurred to me once while washing the rice pot. Out of nowhere, a random thought popped into my mind. Would I put rice on a summoning circle for Jihoon? I guess you already know the answer to that, lol, that random thought somehow morphed into this story. I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> (I'm not a native English speaker so I'm really sorry for any mistakes <3)

“Soonyoung-ah, listen to me, do you seriously have no plans to get married?”

Soonyoung sighed, he knew this phone call would eventually get there, just like any other phone call with his mom.

He loved his mom, he really did, but in moments like this, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes in frustration. He had stopped counting the times his mom had tried to get him to go on a blind date or even encouraged him to go to a party in hopes he would once and for all find love. He could already imagine himself saying the one thing he had been repeating over and over again:

_‘I have to work mom, I don’t have time for a relationship.’_

It wasn’t a lie, he was a busy man, having to manage his own dance studio wasn’t an easy job after all, but, it wasn’t completely true either. If he really wanted to, he could have enough time to go on a date or, hell, even date someone. The problem was, he just wasn’t interested the way his mom wanted him to be. He couldn’t say he was entirely against the idea of finding someone, but he wasn’t desperate enough to humor his mom with her antics, in fact, he wasn’t desperate at all. He was willing to wait for as long as necessary for love to find him instead of the other way around, he had had too many letdowns already and wasn’t eager to expose his heart anymore.

He closed his eyes tightly for a second, why couldn’t his mom understand?

“Mom, could you drop it already?” 

“How can I drop it when I worry so much about you!? I know you Kwon Soonyoung, you get lonely and overwork yourself, look at the time, are you at home?”

Soonyoung looked around and saw himself in the reflection of the practice room’s mirror. He considered for a brief moment if he should just lie to his mom, but he was a terrible liar and it would just upset her further.

“I was just finishing when you called, I was about to go home.”

He heard his mom make an exasperated sound before speaking again. “If you had someone, maybe you would have a reason to go home early. Don’t take this wrong soonyoung-ah, I’m really proud of you, but I can’t help but worry.”

“But there’s nothing to worry about mom, I’m not lonely, I don’t have time to get lonely anyway.”

“Yah! Do you think I will stop worrying if you say something like that? Work isn’t everything in life! You should just go on a blind date, my friend’s daughter is really cute, I’m sure you will like her and…”

“Mom, please, you already know the answer.”

“What about a boy then? I’m sure Mrs. Park’s son would gladly go on a date with you, he always asks about you!”

Soonyoung wanted to groan so hard, he was usually very patient but couldn’t help feeling frustrated at his mom’s pointless insistence. He ran a hand through his sweaty hair, trying to will the feeling of frustration away, what would take for his mom to finally understand he didn’t need her meddling in his love life? 

“Mom, please! I’m begging you, I don’t need you to get me a date, I don’t have time for dating right now, and I swear I’m fine, I’m not overworking, and I’m not lonely.”

“Soonyoung-ah, Soonyoung-ah,” The tone she was using sounded just as frustrated as he was feeling, “why are you so stubborn?”

“I obviously got it from you,” he spoke before stopping to think and bit his tongue right after.

“Yah! How dare you?”

“I’m sorry mom, I’m just tired,” and tired he was. He had been in the practice room for hours trying to finish the last details of a choreography he had been working on, and judging by the clock on the wall, he had completely lost track of time. The state of his shirt was probably the second indicator of how long he had been dancing, it was completely soaked in sweat and was starting to feel cold and disgusting against his skin now that he wasn’t moving anymore.

His mom sighed loudly before speaking once more.

“If you won’t go on a date, then, make me a favor.”

Soonyoung yawned, not really in the mood to go along with any of his mother’s schemes to get him to go on a date.

“You know I have no time to go to parties or blind dates. I won’t do it.”

He could tell his mom’s frustration was growing even over the phone. “I know, I know, you are a really busy man,” her voice was somehow sarcastic, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be offended, he wasn’t _that_ busy anyway. She continued, changing his tone to a sweeter one, trying to allure him into agreeing, “but what I’m asking won’t take much time, I promise.”

Soonyoung wasn’t interested at all, but he had no other option, maybe if he did whatever it was his mom wanted she would finally leave him alone with this issue.

“What would it be then?”

“Could you go to a shrine?”

Soonyoung furrowed his eyebrows confused, trying to make sense of his mom’s words.

“I guess I could, but what for?”

“Oh, Soonyoung, I promise this will work! I read about this amazing place in a magazine last time I went to the dentist, you know they have all those magazines there…”

Soonyoung was making his best effort to listen to his mom’s words, but his stomach suddenly growled and it was extremely difficult to stay focused when the realization of how hungry he really was hit him.

“…It is said that this place is amazing to help you find love! You just have to bring an offering with you!” His mom’s voice was light, as though she was giving him the greatest news ever. He couldn’t help but be a little skeptical. 

“Mom, do you seriously think I will magically get married by bringing some offering to a shrine?” Another yawn escaped his mouth as soon as he finished speaking, he could hear his stomach growling loudly once more and just the thought of having to take a shower before going home was enough mortification as it was, he was too tired to deal with his mom.

“Would it hurt you trying? A little bit of divine help won’t hurt, also, the place isn’t that far away from neither your apartment nor your studio. I looked it up, you can get there in a mere 10 minutes by walking if you want. This is perfect Soonyoung, I’m sure your luck with love will improve if you do this! I’m begging you, do it for me! If I know higher forces are looking after you I’ll be able to relax a little, give your old mother some relief.”

There was a hint of desperation in her voice at the end and he felt a mix of amusement and guilt engulf him, he wanted to complain, but he didn’t want to accidentally offend his mom and end up listening to an unending sermon of how ungrateful he was for making her worry so much and not taking her concern seriously. He knew she didn’t have bad intentions and appreciated her concern, he just wished she would listen to him too. He sighed into the phone, considering his options. Was it really worth it to put up a fight with her? Going to a shrine seemed mild in comparison to having to go on a blind date with another cute and perfect girl he would surely, as usual, have nothing in common with. Actually, going to a shrine didn’t sound as bad at all, he could go, bring some sort of offering with him, be done in less than five minutes, and get to calm his mom about the issue for a while. It was a win-win!

“I guess I could go if it’ll make you happy,” he said finally.

“Well, if you put it like that, you leave me no choice but to remind you that what would make me truly happy is you finding someone, but here we are, aren’t we?”

He choked on-air at her words. He wanted to remind her that it was pointless relying her entire happiness solely on how successful his love life was, but it would be a waste of air. She was set in her mission to marry him off. So instead, he decided to change the topic.

“Just send me the address on a text, I’ll find some time at lunch tomorrow and go.”

“Oh Soonyoung, I’m sure this will work! Just listen to me very carefully…”

And he was trying his best to do so, but it was getting harder and harder when his limbs were starting to feel sore and his stomach was demanding his constant attention by growling. He lost track of his mom’s voice for less than a second and the next thing he knew was that she was talking about food and there was nothing he could have done to stop his mind from wandering into a pointless spiral of menu options for dinner.

“…You have to take an offering with you, it has to be food Soonyoung, bring something tasty, maybe get some meat, maybe some beef…”

Beef. When was the last time he had some beef? He tried, without much success, to remember the name of the new restaurant a block away from his building, the smell was incredibly alluring last time he walked by…

“…But no matter what you do, this is important Soonyoung, don’t bring rice with you, are you listening?”

He got a little startled by his mom’s sudden serious voice, his mind catching up with reality once more. He gulped, he definitely hadn’t been listening to whatever it was his mom was ranting about, mind too occupied by images of juicy meat and kimchi wrapped up in a big piece of lettuce, however, his mom didn’t really need to know this, so with a calm and what he hoped was a confident tone, he said, “yeah, mom. I get it, rice.”

“Okay then! I’ll call you again tomorrow, go home soon, I don’t like you walking alone at night even if it’s close!” His mom’s voice sounded bright, a noticeable contrast to the almost desperate tone she was using just minutes ago. He tightened his lips for a second to avoid snorting into the phone at the thought.

“Yeah mom, don’t worry, I’m already done here anyway. Good night, tell dad I said hi.”

“I’ll tell him, Goodnight Soonyoung.”

…

Entering his apartment that night, taking his shoes off in the darkness, slowly walking to the kitchen and turning the lights on, he looked at his small and withered succulent on the counter, and he had to admit that maybe, just maybe, he was a little bit lonely. 

…

By the time lunch came the next day, Soonyoung had already forgotten everything about the conversation he had with his mom last night. And it would have kept that way if it weren’t for the reminder he received in the form of a text from her. His attention got caught by the notification sound, and without thinking much, he swiped his finger by the screen of his phone, currently laying on the table next to his food, and sighed when he got to read it.

_Mom: Don’t forget to call me after you go to the shrine._

“It’s something wrong?” Soonyoung was currently having lunch at his usual spot with Junhui, his friend and business partner. He looked in his direction and wondered if his face had looked troubled enough for Junhui to comment on it.

“I forgot I have to go to this place my mom wants me to go, she just texted me to remind me,” there was a knowing expression in Jun’s face, and Soonyoung could only assume that the mention of his mom had caused it.

“Is she still trying to get you to go on a date?” He smiled teasingly, and Soonyoung couldn’t blame him for it, his mom’s antics were pretty well known by his friends.

There was an ironic smile in Soonyoung’s lips as he spoke next, “She's passing the task to more powerful and divine forces, she wants me to go and take an offering to a shrine.”

There was confusion in Jun’s face, one of his eyebrows arched in a contemplative expression, probably trying to figure if Soonyoung was being serious or not. “Is that supposed to be a joke?”

Soonyoung shook his head, already expecting his friend to laugh, so when Jun did laugh, Soonyoung snorted, there was just something about the entire thing. He had nothing against going to a shrine, it was just that there was something very sacred and mystical about places of worship and he kind of felt out of place going to ask for something he wasn’t sure he wanted right now. 

“Don’t you think it would be rude of me?” He asked Jun, who had stopped laughing and was back to eating his lunch. Jun swallowed the food he had in his mouth and directed his attention once more to Soonyoung.

“Wait, you were serious?”

“Yes,” answered Soonyoung simply.

Jun had a pensive expression as he stuck another mouthful of food, he swallowed after some seconds and said, “Why would you think it would be rude?”

Soonyoung stopped his chopsticks midair, “well,” he started, deciding to rest the piece of food on the plate again while he talked, “Wouldn’t it be disrespectful for the people who actually have problems they need help with? I feel like I shouldn’t be going to a shrine asking for help with my love life when I don’t really need it nor want it.”

Jun’s lips curled into a smile again, “maybe you don’t want it, but not needing it…” the expression on his face was enough to convey the rest of his sentence without having to say it out loud.

“Ohhh, shut up,” said Soonyoung, finally taking the piece of food again and successfully sticking it into his mouth this time, his chewing a little hurried by the slight embarrassment Jun’s expression was causing him.

“But you know,” Jun spoke again, pausing for a second to take a sip from his beverage, “I’m not sure, but I don’t think trying to make your mom happy will bring divine wrath upon you. And if I’m really honest, you could use the help,” Jun winked at him. Soonyoung rolled his eyes.

“Not you too, Jun.”

“I’m just saying that I seriously don’t see a single reason you shouldn’t date someone. Work can’t be everything.” Jun shrugged his shoulders.

“I know that, and I swear work isn’t the only thing in my life. I have plenty of friends, I have you, Channie, Wonwoo. I just,” he paused for a second, looking to the side while sighing, his next words were soft, but Jun heard him clearly, “I don’t want a relationship just because.”

Jun’s expression turned warm, a sweet smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “You’re actually a romantic.”

“What?” Was all Soonyoung managed to say while sticking the last bite of his lunch into his mouth.

“You don’t want a relationship just because, you want to actually fall in love with the right person.”

“I guess so?”

“That’s cute.”

They both laughed a little at Jun’s words before Soonyoung looked at his watch and sighed loudly. He still had plenty of time before having to get back to work, if his mom had been telling the truth about the location of the place, he had more than enough time to go to the shrine and go back to the studio; they were hosting auditions for backup dancers for a music video soon, and he wanted to check everything was ready for that, including some points in the choreography that were still bothering him. The faster he ended with this shrine issue, the better.

“Sorry Jun, but I’ll get going.”

“It’s okay, just go. See ya!”

…

He checked the address his mom had sent to him on a text the night before and was pleasantly surprised by how close it was, his mom had been right when she said he could get there in 10 minutes.

“ _Maybe even less,_ ” He thought as he accelerated the speed of his steps a bit. He wanted to get it over with, he was still feeling a little bit uneasy about the entire issue, not to mention there was a nagging thought at the back of his mind telling him it was a little bit weird to bring a bowl of freshly made rice to a shrine. Could he really expect divine help that way? 

“ _This is ridiculous, who would help someone who doesn’t want the help anyway?_ ” He just hoped his halfhearted offering wouldn’t seriously gain him the dislike of any superior and divine entity living at the shrine. He closed his eyes for a brief second, feeling a little frustrated. He understood his mom worried about him, but why couldn’t she understand there was nothing to worry about? He had everything he needed to be satisfied with his life, He was successful doing what he loved the most, had amazing friends who loved him and who he loved greatly in return, and okay, he could admit that there were times in which he, perhaps, felt a little tiny bit lonely at home, but, was that even worth worrying about when it could be easily solved by him finally deciding to adopt a pet?

Soonyoung let his mind wander, losing momentary focus of his surroundings, and when he finally decided to check if he was any way near the shrine he was supposed to be going to, he was shocked by the unfamiliar sight that greeted him. How was it even possible? He was alone, there was not a single person or building around, he was walking in what looked like a very old stone path surrounded by a forest of very tall and thick bamboo trees. Just for how long had he been walking already? There was no way such a place had been always there at a walking distance from his place!

He stopped for a second, looking back to try and see any clue of his neighborhood, but it was pointless. All he could see was bamboo extending for miles to no end. He felt a little uneasy, as if he had been swallowed into another dimension. He shivered at the scary thought, shaking his head softly to get rid of it and ultimately deciding to follow the stone path in front of him. With some luck, it would lead him back to civilization.

He walked for a minute and eventually reached a green hill with very old and abandoned-looking stone stairs leading up. He followed the path with his eyes and could see a tall wooden structure at the top, probably the entrance to the shrine. Soonyoung felt something weird while observing, this wasn’t, in any way, what he had imagined when his mom had talked about a shrine. The place looked neglected as if it had been forgotten a long time ago. Just what kind of magazines did they have at his mom’s dentist? 

“Ancient ones for sure, this place is deserted,” He looked around once more, wondering what would be the best course of action. He could try and go back, surely if he kept walking by where he came, at some point, he would end up at a familiar place again. And when his mom unavoidably ended up asking about the shrine, he could just say he hadn’t been able to find the place.

“ _She would probably nag at me until I accept to try once more,_ ” he thought bitterly while rubbing his eyes with one of his hands and sighing heavily. “ _There’s no point, I’m already here anyway,_ ” he looked up with newfound determination, taking a step to start climbing up the stairs. He looked carefully around as he made his way up, there were some really tall and marvelous trees at the top, he hadn’t even known trees could grow that big, it was an impressive sight; and suddenly, while still observing his surroundings, he somehow became hyper-aware of the little details. The melancholic whistling of the wind through the trees, the faded color of every single leaf, the smell of nature triggering an inexplicable feeling of nostalgia. It was too much and too weird, he wanted to run away but his body didn’t stop moving towards the place, as if enchanted.

He finally reached the top, and the moment he set a foot inside the place, he was overcome by an intense feeling of sadness pressing his chest, the wind suddenly sounding almost melodic to his ears. Sorrowful, painful, but at the same time, beautiful. He hurried inside, trying to brush off the weird feeling the place was awakening in him. He walked fast, trying to look for a sort of altar or a place that looked like it was made to place offerings, but in his haste, he tripped on a big tree root, losing his balance for a second and being forced to stop. He looked around once more, this time a little bit slower, taking in the way that nature seemed to swallow everything around. It was charming in a way he couldn’t put into words. He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself, the entire experience seemed too surreal and it was causing him to panic a little. He breathed one, two, three more times as deeply as possible, finally feeling himself calming down a little. He heard the wind blow harder, but this time he couldn’t tell if what he was hearing was the wind of some sort of instrument, it seemed very unlikely for the wind to carry such a melody with it. He closed his eyes, trying to decide, but the more he focused on the melody the more the sadness and loneliness pressing his chest grew. It was becoming unbearable, he needed to get out of there.

He started walking once more, this time slower, not wanting to trip again and end up falling for real this time. He walked next to big trees and strange-looking bushes with leaves he had never seen before, and after walking for a little more, he finally saw what looked like some kind of altar. He made his way towards it, noticing there were no more offerings in sight. 

“ _I’m the only crazy one who would come to such a place,_ ” he thought as he removed the bowl of rice from the bag he had been carrying and set it in the middle of the altar. He couldn’t help feeling a little bit silly while placing the lonely bowl of rice there, and a sudden question appeared in his head. Should he leave the chopsticks too? He debated for a second, feeling like it would be a little bit ridiculous to do so, but, on the other hand, if there was something or someone actually willing to take his offering, how would they eat it if he didn’t leave the chopsticks? He slowly placed the chopsticks next to the bowl and took a brief look once more.

“Okay! Mission accomplished,” He blurted out. That was it, he could finally go back now. He turned around, expertly getting rid of the thought that he maybe should say a prayer before going, not wanting to spend any more time than necessary there, but when he was barely two meters away, something startled him, freezing his body in place. 

_That sound._

That was a way too familiar sound but there was just no way it was real, his mind was playing tricks on him. There was just no way he had just heard someone rip open the packet of chopsticks he had left behind. It made no sense. But yet again, he had heard it clearly. He groaned lowly, too frustrated with himself. He had already decided not to look back, but there was no way he could just go like that, so, in a moment of strange bravery, he turned around, leaves suddenly flying around as the wind picked up pace. He noted in the back of his mind that the sound was normal again, not the strange melodic whistle from before. But he didn’t have time to analyze the probable reasons as to why the sudden change, because, right there, sitting on top of the altar-like place, holding the bowl of rice in one hand and the chopsticks in the other, was a man. 

A very beautiful man, his mind provided, as if falling victim to a spell. He shrugged the weird thought away, finding himself too surprised to talk, his mind working fast to try and provide an explanation to whatever was happening but failing to do so. He looked cautiously at the man and saw him sticking a bit of rice into his mouth calmly, chewing slowly, eyes focused somewhere far to the side. 

“I’ll do it.” 

The man spoke suddenly, finally moving his head to look at Soonyoung, his eyes dark and deep, his gaze piercing. Soonyoung felt confused at the man’s words, and although he felt as though he had his heart throbbing in his throat, he was able, somehow, to muster what was necessary to speak.

“Ex-, excuse me?”

He stood there, still frozen in place, and saw the man stick what looked like the last bit of rice into his mouth before placing the bowl and the chopsticks down and standing up. The man started moving towards soonyoung, his movements looked graceful somehow, and Soonyoung felt like he was looking straight into a surreal being. Like there was no way the person in front of him was real. And that was probably it! He thought. He was most likely still in his room, about to wake up from this extremely weird and complex construction of his subconscious. He pinched his own arm, trying to convince himself this was just a dream, but nothing happened. He was still there, looking directly into the profound dark eyes of the other man. 

The man was standing right in front of him, he was short but his presence was strong and imposing. Soonyoung swallowed, feeling exposed in a way he wasn’t sure how to explain as the dark eyes in front observed him. 

“I accept your offering,” said the man, making a small pause in which Soonyoung felt his confusion grow to unmeasurable levels, “I’ll grant your wish.”

Soonyoung was about to demand an explanation, feeling the situation still too dreamlike to be real and needing to confirm what was actually happening. But he found himself unable to speak, and this time, it wasn’t because of how startled he was, but by a very real and physical reason. He saw it coming in slow motion, the man’s face right in front of him, closer and closer, and before he knew it there was a pair of soft and warm lips against his own. It lasted less than a second, but it was enough to send his heart into a frenzy of rapid and arrhythmic heartbeats.

He looked at the man with wide eyes and saw him slightly rubbing his lips with his sleeve before speaking once more.

“It’s official now, we have a deal.”

Soonyoung was still skeptical, completely unconvinced, and unbelieving. It all seemed too unlikely, for this bizarre situation to be anything but a dream. There was just no way any of this was real, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! <3
> 
> I can't believe we're getting a comeback next month I'm SO EXCITED!!
> 
> This is my first Seventeen fanfic, I hope is not too bad. I have quite some written for this already but since I still have to proofread and all that, I'll probably update by next week!
> 
> If you liked it and want to be my friend on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/fearlessrose17) come say hello to me! I'm shy but friendly!
> 
> See you! :)
> 
> (Just to be safe, I want to let you know that I wasn't thinking of any religion while writing this, I'm so afraid of accidentally offending someone OTL)


	2. Chapter 2

It was –although against everything that made sense in the world– _real._

Denial wasn’t going to take him anywhere. He had already realized that no matter how much he tried, he wasn’t going to wake up in his room under his cozy blanket to find out it was all a dream, nor was he going to wake up at a hospital to realize he had been involved in some kind of accident and everything had been a coma induced hallucination.

It was _real._

Saying Soonyoung was baffled came short to describe what he was feeling. He was totally and utterly confused out of his mind. He looked at the other man, still standing in front of him, a seemingly unemotional expression on his face, eyes sharp and presence strong. It unnerved Soonyoung, seeing the other so composed while he felt so shocked.

“What the…– just who the fuck are you?” Snapped Soonyoung. He breathed harshly, trying to somehow will his exasperation away, but ultimately demanding answers from the man. “And what was all that about? A deal? And did you–, you kissed me!”

The stern eyes of the man fixed on him, his brows furrowing slightly as he spoke, “that wasn’t a kiss.” He said it in such a way that Soonyoung, if he were a passerby listening to him without knowing what had happened, would have believed his words.

“What was it then? ‘cause it certainly felt like a kiss to me!”

“That’s just how you make a deal.” There was something in the man’s voice that Soonyoung couldn’t quite understand, as if whatever he was saying should have been obvious, a universally known truth and Soonyoung was the weird one for not knowing. It only served to fuel his frustration more.

Soonyoung breathed deeply, trying to calm himself. 

“Look, just–, who are you and what is happening here?” He paused, his eyes closing for a moment before adding, “this might be normal to you, but I’m losing my mind over here.”

The man didn’t even bother looking directly at him as he said, “My name’s Jihoon, and this is my shrine.” He finally turned his head in Soonyoung’s direction again, but the stern look from before was replaced by one of slight distress. 

“What do you mean this is your shrine?” His brain had been providing an answer to that question for a while, but Soonyoung had been diligently pushing it to the back of his mind, not willing to accept it so easily. It just made no sense. There was no way, literally no way that he had managed to summon some divine entity by bringing a bowl of white rice to some shrine. _No. way._

“This is why I don’t like humans.” The man’s _–Jihoon’s?–_ voice had a hint of irritation in it, but Soonyoung’s mind was too busy to care.

Had he said he didn’t like… humans? As if he weren’t one himself? Soonyoung felt a shiver run down his spine at the rather big implication there.

“Look,” spoke Jihoon again, his patient clearly starting to vanish, “what’s so hard to understand? You came here, _– to my shrine–_ , with an offering and a wish, hoping I would help you and I will. So let’s just–”

“Wait there just a second!” Interrupted Soonyoung, “are you really saying you’re some kind of deity of this shrine?”

“Indeed. I’m the spirit of this place, and I will grant your wish.”

Soonyoung didn’t know what to think anymore, nothing made sense to him. Summoning a spirit, making a deal, and having… a wish? Granted? It sounded like a joke, especially because he hadn’t even asked for any wish to be granted, he had even skipped saying a prayer when dropping his offering. Having an actual deity of sorts making a deal with him was something he wasn’t looking forward to. He ran a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling exhausted.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t have any wish to make, I didn’t come here looking for any real help.”

Soonyoung looked as Jihoon’s eyebrows furrowed deeply, “That’s clearly a lie,” he said, and Soonyoung, despite feeling offended at being accused like that, didn’t really have a chance to protest as Jihoon kept on talking. “Only people who need it find their way here, if you didn’t have any wish you wouldn’t be here to begin with.”

Well, now Soonyoung was the one who wanted to tell Jihoon that he was clearly lying. Seeing as his mom had found the address in a regular magazine at his dentist’s reception, anyone would probably be able to find their way here, as Jihoon had put it.

“I only came here as a favor to my mom, not because I need help with anything!” Said Soonyoung instead, not wanting to push his luck by calling the other a liar, if he really was a spirit with the ability to grant a wish, who knows what he could do if he offended him.

A questioning look appeared on Jihoon’s face and stayed there for two seconds, he then hurriedly looked around, –he had been doing that from time to time, Soonyoung noted–, Then turned towards Soonyoung with a slightly anxious expression, his hands starting to get fidgety, and said, “You can lie to yourself, but there has to be a reason you're here. Let’s just go now.”

That last part had attracted Soonyoung’s curiosity. “Go where?” He asked. Jihoon, who he had thought looked composed before, was starting to look restless, eyes not being able to focus on a single thing, head turning from side to side, eyebrows still deeply furrowed.

“Wherever just–”

A muffled sound coming from behind Jihoon startled them both. It sounded like very faint and far away steps coming their way. Jihoon opened his eyes wide for a second before turning his head to look in the direction of the sound, then, looked back at Soonyoung with clear anxiousness in his eyes.

“Let’s get out of here.”

Soonyoung wanted to protest, he still had many questions he needed the answers to, but he had no time to do so as Jihoon gripped his wrist tightly and dragged him strongly. 

“Wait-!” 

“There’s no time, let’s go, hurry up!”

Jihoon dragged him toward the wooden structure of the entrance, expertly avoiding the big roots and bushes that could make them trip. They made their way down the stairs at such a speed Soonyoung was grateful when they made it to the bottom without tripping. Soonyoung tried to push his hand out of Jihoon’s grip but the other didn’t even seem to realize, still dragging Soonyoung rapidly through the bamboo forest he had walked by before. 

Soonyoung was at a loss. He wanted to voice out his confusion, to demand answers and explanations, but there was something about Jihoon’s determination to get them out of there that just didn’t let him speak his questions out. What was it that had caused such a reaction from the spirit? Were they in some kind of danger? 

He felt his head spin while question after question popped into his mind in an unending stream of thoughts; but suddenly, while still making their way through the seemingly infinite bamboo forest, Soonyoung was abruptly taken out of his mind. Every sound surrounding them disappeared for a second, the whistling of the wind, the rustling of the leaves, even their steps in the stone path, and as if per magic, everything around blurred and slowly morphed into the familiar sight of Soonyoung’s neighborhood. There were cars in the street, people walking past them, and the buildings he knew so well were comforting to see. For a second there Soonyoung thought everything had been truly a hallucination after all, but the tugging in his arm was still present, Jihoon’s hold on his wrist there, dragging him down the sidewalk.

He swallowed. _Jihoon was still there_. Soonyoung wasn’t sure if he should panic or try his best to remain calm as the terrifying reality of the situation dawned on him. Had he really made a deal with a spirit? And at what cost? A bowl of white rice didn’t seem nearly enough to pay the price of a wish or a spirit’s help. He felt momentary dread wash over him. 

“H-, hey!”

Jihoon stopped walking the second he heard Soonyoung’s voice, the sudden reaction causing Soonyoung to crash lightly onto his back, a startled groan escaping his lips. Soonyoung looked at Jihoon, who had turned slightly in his direction, with the clear intention of complaining and demanding the answers he deserved, but there was something in the other’s expression that made every word he had to say get stuck on his throat, a weird twisting feeling in his stomach. He wanted to be mad and voice his frustration but all he could do was observe Jihoon’s face, his empty expression too unsettling.

Jihoon looked up slowly, his eyes meeting Soonyoung’s for a brief moment before looking down once more, his gaze fixing on their linked hands. Soonyoung saw a small hint of a frown appear on the other’s face before he let go of his hand with a sharp movement.

“We’re out.”

Soonyoung was caressing his wrist when he heard Jihoon’s voice, so faint and barely audible he wondered for a second if he had imagined it, but as this thought appeared in his mind Jihoon spoke again.

“We’re really out.” 

“What do you mean?” Asked Soonyoung, his mind still processing what had happened.

Jihoon turned more towards him, his piercing gaze intimidating Soonyoung a little, there was something so intense in Jihoon’s eyes, something Soonyoung couldn’t decipher.

The spirit opened his mouth slightly as if to speak, eyes not leaving Soonyoung’s, when out of nowhere, before any words could leave his lips, a frown deepened hard in his face, eyes closing and nose scrunching on a seemingly painful expression. He was already collapsing heavily onto the floor before Soonyoung could even think of asking what was wrong. 

…

Entering his apartment with an unconscious Jihoon on his back, Soonyoung had no option but to question his own sanity for a second. Bringing a stranger into his home wasn’t wise, but he didn’t have the heart to abandon the other while unconscious on some dirty sidewalk, much less when said stranger was some kind of divine spirit he had, although unwillingly, made a deal with.

For all he knew, the spirit, Jihoon, could be after his soul or could even already own it! A shiver ran down his spine as the scary thought took shape in his mind, it was a possibility he wasn’t sure he could shake completely off just yet. He took his shoes off as best as he could before entering his living room and setting Jihoon down on the couch as gently as possible. He didn’t want to upset the one who could potentially own his soul, even if he felt silly just thinking it. He stood next to his couch, taking a second to observe the other better. Jihoon’s expression while unconscious wasn’t particularly peaceful, and the same weird sadness he had felt back at the shrine suddenly returned to him, there was just something about Jihoon that awakened some strange sense of anguish inside of him.

He kept on looking at Jihoon, the small, almost imperceptible furrow in his brows, his somewhat soft breathing, and Soonyoung wasn’t sure of how, but he had the feeling that Jihoon was probably very lonely.

Soonyoung didn’t know how or if it even made sense, but he had the weird sensation of just knowing what the other was feeling. It was so strange and so inexplicable, but if someone had asked him in that exact moment, he would have willingly bet on his life that he knew the exact emotion the spirit was feeling. _That overpowering loneliness._

He was trying to understand what was it that made him feel that way -maybe something in Jihoon’s expression or even something in his breathing- when a vibration in his back pocket made him jump in surprise. It was his phone. He looked away from Jihoon immediately, the sudden realization of how creepy was what he was doing, looking at someone like that while unconscious and somehow speculating about their feelings. 

He shook his head, walking into his kitchen and pushing away the thought that it hadn’t felt like speculation at all. A sigh left his lips as he debated internally if he should make some coffee. He decided against it and just poured some water that he ended up drinking in one big gulp. He felt exhausted, his mind starting to fill with questions once more. Did he seriously have a spirit sleeping on his couch? 

He ran a hand through his hair, his mind providing questions but no possible answers to them, until his phone’s vibration interrupted him once more, this time he took it off from his pocket and checked it, Jun had texted.

_Jun: Dude, where are you?  
Jun: I’ll cover for you, but let me know you’re okay._

Soonyoung groaned loudly, he had completely forgotten about work, which was completely unheard of coming from him. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had skipped work, other than on the rare occasion he had gotten a cold. He sighed once more, frustrated, there was just no way he could go to work with Jihoon unconscious on his couch.

He typed a quick answer to Jun.

_Soonyoung: Sorry, something came up. I don’t think I’ll be going back today._

As he rested his phone on the kitchen counter a low whimper from the couch caught his attention, it was Jihoon, who was slowly sitting up. He had a frown on his face and a hand on his head while looking around, probably still feeling a little bit dizzy after having passed out. His expression was serious as he observed his surroundings, Soonyoung interpreted it as him trying to decipher his current location.

“We’re at my place,” said Soonyoung, walking towards the couch. Jihoon hadn’t looked at him, but he was sure the other heard him, if the slight movement of his head in his direction was any indication.

“My name’s Soonyoung, by the way,” Jihoon finally looked up to him, and Soonyoung felt his stomach churn as the terrifying thought from before made an appearance once again. “W-wait! Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that! Oh my god, are you like-, going to, I don’t know, take my soul or something?”

There was a panicked expression on Soonyoung’s face, a memory of a movie he had watched years back in which names were really important popping into his mind out of nowhere, they even made deals with them! And he had just carelessly told his name to some weird spirit!

Amidst his panic, he looked at Jihoon, and he could swear he saw amusement in the other’s eyes.

“What would I want your stupid soul for anyway?”

Soonyoung didn’t even have time to get offended by the insult to his soul, finding momentary relief in Jihoon’s words, maybe he was being ridiculous, or maybe he was being naive. He couldn’t help but feel a little wary of the other.

“I don’t know, to eat it or something nasty like that.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes, “disgusting.”

“So, you seriously won’t take my soul?” It seemed like his soul was safe for the time being, he allowed himself to relax a bit.

“It’s not like I’m going to marry you or something.” Jihoon’s voice was nonchalant as if he were stating the obvious. But Soonyoung’s curiosity was picked by that, he raised his eyebrows and asked:

“What does that even mean?”

Jihoon narrowed his eyes a bit, analyzing Soonyoung’s face for a second before answering, “Humans’ lives are very ephemeral, if a human and a spirit love each other that’s usually what happens.”

“Oh? So, a human and a spirit can get _involved_?” He made a silly gesture by raising his eyebrows repeatedly to let Jihoon know what he actually meant by ‘involved’.

Jihoon looked away for a second and sighed, “It’s not very common but not completely unheard of, but does it matter? I have no intention of getting _involved_ with you, much less marrying you. Your soul’s safe.”

There was a moment of silence, and when Soonyoung was finally going to speak again, Jihoon beat him to it.

“I won’t marry you even if you wish for it. If you were thinking about it just forget it, I won’t do it.”

Right, Soonyoung had forgotten there for a moment, _the deal._

“Look, I don’t really understand this very well, but I had no desire to make a deal with you, and I certainly have no wishes to make, I have everything I could ever wish for right now.”

Jihoon looked at him without saying anything for a minute, a complicated expression on his face. “Makes no sense,” the words were spoken in a low voice, more to himself than for Soonyoung. His expression turning contemplative before turning towards Soonyoung once more and speaking again, “How did you even find your way into my shrine then? You even brought me rice.”

Soonyoung, who had been awkwardly standing up in the middle of his living room, finally threw himself onto the couch and ran his hand through his hair in an attempt of sorting out his thoughts. “I did it just because my mom asked me to.”

There was silence once more, and Soonyoung felt uneasy by Jihoon’s strong gaze focused on him.

“We have a deal and I can’t go until it’s fulfilled.” His voice was as serious as his gaze strong.

“What do you mean you can’t go?”

“I’ll stay here until you decide what’s your wish, so think of something fast.”

Soonyoung opened his eyes wide at Jihoon’s words, he tried to meet Jihoon’s eyes to try and decide if the other was saying the truth but found himself unable to. Jihoon lowered his head, avoiding Soonyoung’s eyes, and Soonyoung groaned, frustrated, not knowing what to do or even say.

He tried to stay calm, he had already panicked enough for just one day, so he breathed deeply, trying to dissipate his general confusion. There was just too much happening at once and he was seriously struggling to process everything. First, he had somehow found his way into some kind of magic shrine and had managed to make a deal with said shrine’s spirit. Now, the spirit was telling him that unless he could think of a wish he was going to stay there, in his home. Were all spirits like that? Deciding to make deals with you and staying at your home without even bothering to ask first? It was too much and he wasn’t going to accept without complaining first.

“You’re saying you will stay here… as in, living here? No way!”

“If you dislike it so much just make a wish and let’s get this over with.” 

Soonyoung heard his words clearly, but there was something so contradicting on his tone. He wanted to meet Jihoon’s eyes badly, try and see what his expression was, but the other had his head hanging low, his profile showing an unclear expression.

Soonyoung sighed, trying to contemplate his options. He could just wish for anything, even the silliest of things would do, he could put an end to the weirdness and keep on living his life as if nothing ever happened. He could, likewise, wish for Jihoon to go back to his shrine, it would be beneficial for both of them, Jihoon would go back and Soonyoung wouldn’t have to suddenly get a roommate he wasn’t prepared to have. It was a pretty good idea! But before Soonyoung could voice his thoughts, Jihoon finally raised his head. It wasn’t, however, to look at Soonyoung but to look in the opposite direction, through the window, and that image, for a completely unknown reason, made something inside of Soonyoung twist. He remembered how eager Jihoon had been to leave the shrine and the way his voice had sounded when he had realized they were finally out and into the city. There was just something about Jihoon that made him look lonely, and Soonyoung, call him naive or whatever, just didn’t have the heart to wish something like that. He just couldn’t bring himself to ask the other to leave.

_“I’m just being tricked by this spirit, why am I so dumb.”_ He thought, groaning loudly and resting his head on the couch. 

“I’ll think of something, I guess you can stay for the time being,” Jihoon finally looked in his direction, his gaze still intense, but before he could say anything, his stomach growled loudly surprising them both. Jihoon’s eyes went incredibly wide, and Soonyoung could swear his ears were red, he couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Oh man, it seems like you’re hungry,” Soonyoung said, still shaking a little with small laughs leaving his lips, Jihoon’s brows were furrowed in embarrassment, and Soonyoung found the entire thing too amusing. 

“It’s my first time in the human world, it takes more energy than I expected.” 

Soonyoung raised an eyebrow at that. 

“Is that why you passed out earlier? ‘Cause that seriously freaked me out.” 

Jihoon nodded and Soonyoung finally stood up from the couch and headed towards his kitchen. “I only have instant ramen, would that be okay?” 

Jihoon’s stomach growled again, and Soonyoung couldn’t help the smile that came to his face, Jihoon’s embarrassed face was kind of… cute. 

“So?” Soonyoung asked again already reaching for the ramen packets he had on his kitchen cabinets.

“Could I have some rice with that?” 

“Mmm?” Soonyoung looked in another cabinet and saw he still had some instant rice there, he took it out and turned to look at Jihoon, “alright, ramen and rice it is then.” 

He looked for a pot to heat the water and couldn’t help but voice a little of his frustration. “You know, Jihoon, right?” He heard a soft hum in confirmation and continued speaking, “I still can’t help but feel like I’m being scammed, hard to believe I'm cooking ramen for a spirit.”

Soonyoung turned to the counter to open the ramen packets and saw Jihoon standing up from the couch with a little bit of difficulty. He was probably still feeling dizzy. He looked at Jihoon curiously while he stumbled his way to the kitchen counter and sat in one of the stools. Soonyoung was suddenly met with Jihoon’s intense gaze up close, and his heart may have skipped a beat, mind you, Jihoon was handsome and Soonyoung had eyes. 

Jihoon raised an eyebrow to get Soonyoung's attention, and then, directed his eyes towards the counter. Soonyoung followed the path of his gaze and saw that Jihoon was looking at his small and withered succulent, it had been a present from his mom (some kind of amulet she bought from a shaman who claimed it would bring good luck with love,) and although he tried to care for it, it had eventually died, he hadn’t had the heart to throw it away or tell his mom the poor destiny of the small plant. 

Before Soonyoung could give any excuses as to the state of his plant, Jihoon raised his hand and slightly touched the dry plant. Jihoon’s hands were pretty, Soonyoung noted, his fingers long and slender, but he didn’t have time to dwell on this because suddenly, an incredible and inexplicable thing happened. His dry and withered plant slowly started to turn green again, slight purple tones suddenly mixing in, the once dried leaves growing once more right in front of his eyes. He let out a shocked gasp, too impressed with what he had just seen. he looked at Jihoon wide-eyed and he actually directed a slightly smug smile to him.

“I hope you take better care of it this time around, Soonyoung.” 

And with that, Soonyoung had no other option but seriously believe everything was true. He had made a deal with a spirit, he was going to be hosting said spirit in his house for the time being, and he was cooking ramen and rice for him, crazy as it sounded, _it was real._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to update this last week but my mom came to visit and I couldn't find the time to do so 😅
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it and it wasn't too boring, I have spent so much time thinking about this story, I'm so attached to it and have so much planed, I'm not sure I'll be able to pull it off but I'll try my best! (will probably be very cliche so I'm very sorry in advance)
> 
> Thanks so much for reading ❤️ will most likely update next week!


	3. Chapter 3

The first night was… awkward, to say the least. Soonyoung was, in no way, prepared to receive any kind of visits, much less to suddenly get a roommate. His apartment wasn’t small, but it wasn’t particularly big either, and although he had an extra room, it wasn’t a bedroom. He hadn’t really had the need for an extra bedroom before, and on the weird occasions one of his friends had stayed the night, they had always used the couch. He sighed, feeling troubled by the last minute sleeping arrangements. He decided the best he could do was look for the old futon he had used when he first moved out of his parents’ house and he took two whole months to get a bed.

By the time Soonyoung had managed to organize everything, Jihoon had fallen asleep on the couch. He looked at Jihoon’s face, his eyebrows weren’t furrowed like before, and Soonyoung would even dare say he looked peaceful. He debated whether it would be wise to wake the other up and show him to his new improvised room, maybe offer him his shower, but seeing his chest slowly raising, his breath constant and his expression calm, he decided against it. He covered Jihoon with one of his spare blankets and went to sleep without even bothering to shower himself, he was way too tired.

…

_Dark green, tall, long, almost infinite ahead of him. The sensation of the wind on his face a fresh caress, the low sound of leaves moving in harmony around him so very pleasant to his ears._

__

__

The feeling of not knowing where he was contradicting the weird calmness he felt.

The wind. He was tranquil. The sound around. He wasn’t afraid. 

_He was lost, but he felt as though he had just been found._

…

Soonyoung woke up early the next morning, a faint memory of a dream lingering in his mind as he rubbed the sleepiness out of his eyes. He tried to focus for a second, remember what he had been dreaming about, but all he could recall was the sound of the wind and the sensation of being lost, it wasn’t, however, in a bad way. He had been lost but not scared, just wandering as the breeze caressed his face. He felt strangely calm as consciousness started to set completely in, the last bit of sleep disappearing along with every hope of remembering the details of his dream, but it wasn’t really important anymore to him, his curiosity vanishing with the sound of a notification from his phone on the bedside table.

He rolled out of bed slowly, throwing his blanket aside carelessly and siting on the edge of the bed for a second before finally reaching out for his phone. It was a text from his mom. He had avoided talking to her last night, not being sure of how to explain the overall weird experience he had had while trying to please her by going to the shrine. He closed his eyes for a bit before unlocking his phone and opening the text messaging app.

_Mom: Soonyoung-ah, why haven’t you called me?_  
_Mom: How did it go? Could you go to the shrine?_  
_Mom: I called you but you didn’t answer, call me soon._

He scratched his head, thinking of what to say but he didn’t have much time to think as his phone started to ring. His mom was calling. He hovered his finger over the answer button, the tiniest bit of hesitation still present as he decided to finally answer the call.

“Hello, mom,” he said, his voice still a little bit raspy.

“Soonyoung-ah, why weren’t you answering my texts? I was worried about you!” 

“Sorry mom, I had a weird day yesterday,” he was pretty sure saying his day had been weird was an understatement. 

“What happened? Did you go to the shrine?”

“I went,” he paused for a second, clearing his throat before continuing, “It wasn’t what I expected though.”

“Well, of course!” His mom chirped, obviously happy now that she knew he had taken the time to go to the shrine. Soonyoung silently wondered if he was still half asleep after all, his mom sounded just too certain that she knew he was going to be surprised by the place, but there was no way she really knew what he had encountered. “Who would have thought such a big and popular shrine would be within a walking distance from your place?”

And he was right, she had no idea. 

“Popular you say?” Popular was nowhere near to describe the desolated place he had been to.

“That’s right! It said in the article they receive lots of visits everyday, it’s such a popular place to ask for help with your love life and there are so many testimonies!”

Soonyoung breathed slowly, listening carefully to his mom’s words. It was becoming clear to him that they had very different places in mind, but just to be completely sure, he asked:

“Mom, did it say something in the magazine about, I don’t know, like the spirit of the place appearing and granting wishes?”

“What are you talking about Soonyoung-ah?”

“Just something I heard about?”

“Oh, so they have that kind of legend there? There was nothing about it in the magazine,” she stopped briefly, a contemplative sound leaving her lips as she thought of something, “wouldn’t it be amazing if it were true? What kind of offering would you have to bring with you to get a wish granted? Maybe you should come back, bring something better this time,” her voice sounded so serious Soonyoung had trouble trying to choke the snort that was about to scape his lips. _If only she knew_.

“Wouldn’t it be too burdening to get a wish granted?” He threw himself into the mattress, closing his eyes, his legs still hanging off the edge of the bed. Soonyoung understood perfectly that his words weren’t the expected words to describe such an opportunity as having a wish granted. He knew, theoretically speaking, just how amazing the idea of being able to have anything you wanted given to you was, but for the weirdest reason, every time he tried to think of a wish to make he couldn’t help but feel burdened by it. He was sure there would be a catch somewhere, and having that kind of responsibility was a little bit terrifying. There was also the stubborn idea in his mind that he seriously didn’t need anything at all. He had everything he wanted. With so many people out there who would give anything for such an opportunity, how had he gotten himself into such a situation?

“What do you mean burdening? What’s so burdening about it? Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could just wish to finally find love?” It was just a phone call but he could picture in his mind his mom’s eyebrows furrowed, his forehead wrinkling as the disbelieving expression occupied her entire face. 

“You can’t force love like that mom.”

“Oh Soonyoung-ah, how is it that you’re still single when you’re so sweet?”

This time he didn’t even try to stop the laugh from coming out, “You know it, I just haven’t found the right one for me.”

“It’s just a matter of time now that you surely have divine help!” He laughed once more, and although he was sure his mom had interpreted it as him agreeing with her, it had been more out of the irony of the situation. He did have divine help, as his mom had said, he just wasn’t willing to use it to ask for help with his love life, if at all. 

They talked for a few more minutes, his mom asking about his job and his friends – _Is Wonwoo back form his trip yet? I saw that video of Channie dancing, he’s such a fine young man. The dance you made was on TV last night, so many dangerous jumps, you have to be really careful Soonyoung-ah_ – Just usual conversation with his mom. They had a good relationship in general, almost perfect, if it weren’t for her deep obsession with his love life. 

He sighed as he finally put his phone down somewhere in between his bed sheets, standing up from the lying down position he had been in and going out of his room in direction to his kitchen. He looked briefly to the side, towards the clock on his living room, silently calculating the time he had before he had to head to work, not really minding his surroundings until a slight snore coming from the couch startled him momentarily. 

_“Right,”_ he thought as he saw Jihoon curled up on the couch, deep in sleep still, _“Jihoon.”_

Resignation washed over him, the conversation he had just moments ago with his mom in his head. Wishing for love was something he definitely couldn’t picture himself doing. He took a second to feel sorry for his mom before pushing all thoughts regarding the deal with Jihoon aside and finally walking into the kitchen. He opened the fridge, furrowing his eyebrows slightly at the depressing sight inside, he would definitely had to drop by the grocery store later.

“At least there’s eggs,” he muttered, reaching inside to take the carton out, opening it and carelessly counting the eggs before resting them on the counter. “an omelet it is I guess.”

He looked into his fridge once more, looking for some vegetables he still had. He hummed a mindless melody to himself as he cooked, letting his mind slip away from all his worries for a moment, occupying it instead with the task in front – chopping some vegetables, beating the eggs, adding some salt – he wasn’t the best cook out there, hell, he wasn’t even a _good_ cook, but he could at least make a pretty decent omelet.

He finished making breakfast, cutting the omelet in half while stealing a brief glance towards Jihoon, he would probably wake up soon, most likely hungry. He put half of the omelet on a plate for himself and set the other apart for Jihoon.

He took a seat on one of the stools at the counter, plate of food in front, but before he could take the first bite of his food, his small succulent caught his attention. He looked at it in wonder, it had been dead for weeks, and after just the smallest brush from Jihoon’s finger it had come back to life, greener and prettier than ever before. If it weren’t because it happened right in front of his eyes, he wasn’t sure he would be able to believe it. He stood up once again, walking towards the sink and bringing some water with him. He was determined to take better care of his plant this time, he wouldn’t let the second chance go to waste. 

Soonyoung was about to pour the water on top of his plant, but before even a single drop could fall, he heard Jihoon’s slightly alarmed voice heavy still with sleep.

“What are you doing?”

Jihoon looked at him through narrowed eyes, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed, and Soonyoung would have probably been intimidated by the stern expression, but the ridiculous contrast between the scowl and the crazy bed hair was a way too amusing sight for him to do anything else but laugh. 

“Good morning to you too,” he said with a playful tone, his voice light with the remnants of laughter, “I was about to water my plant, I don’t want it to die again.” Soonyoung had his hand hovering awkwardly above the plant while talking, hesitant now that Jihoon’s stern face hadn’t disappeared. He looked at the other, who groaned while running a hand through his face before standing up and walking his way towards the kitchen counter.

“That’s not how you should water it,” said Jihoon, directing his gaze to Soonyoung’s hand. Soonyoung was confused, and Jihoon must have noticed it. He sighed briefly before continuing, “just water the soil, don’t pour the water right on top.”

“Oh?”

“You didn’t know? And just how much water were you about to use?”

“Is this too much?” Asked Soonyoung, finally lowering his hand and resting it on the counter. He felt embarrassed, he didn’t even know there was a correct way to water plants. 

“Way too much,” said Jihoon simply, pausing for a second to look at the small plant, and then, back at Soonyoung. “How often did you water it?”

“Mmm,” Soonyoung scratched his head, suspecting his answer was going to definitely be the wrong one, “everyday?”

Jihoon opened his eyes wide, surprised. Soonyoung could only look as the spirit moved his hand hurriedly and reached for the plant, moving it closer to himself and far away from the, although unintentional, deadly hands of Soonyoung. 

“You watered it everyday? No wonder it died.”

“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung’s voice was soft and apologetic, and Jihoon’s face finally relaxed.

“It’s okay,” he said, Soonyoung noted that his voice was a little bit gentler now, “just don’t make the same mistakes again.” 

“I won’t.” 

Jihoon hummed his approval with the slightest hint of a smile on his face, moving a little to take a seat on one of the stools, once he was seated, his eyes were immediately drawn to Soonyoung’s omelet on the counter.

Soonyoung noted and smiled. “Would you like some breakfast?” He offered. Jihoon nodded as his only answer.

Once they were both seated next to each other with their breakfasts in front, an awkward silence set in as they both started to eat. Soonyoung couldn’t stand the uncomfortable atmosphere, he wanted to desperately break the silence, find something to talk about, but he wasn’t the most comfortable person around strangers and he still wasn’t sure of how he felt about having Jihoon around.

He chewed slowly, stealing slight glances towards Jihoon, trying to come up with something to say, when his attention was inevitably caught. He turned his face more obviously this time, looking directly at Jihoon to get a better view. Jihoon was sticking food into his mouth with one hand while the other was carefully surrounding his little succulent. A smile appeared on Soonyoung’s face, it was quite an endearing sight.

“Sooo,” Soonyoung started, finally finding the courage to speak and get rid of the unbearable silence, “How often did you say I should water my plant?”

Jihoon chewed the food he had in his mouth and swallowed before answering, not even bothering to look at Soonyoung, “Once a week would be okay.”

“You seem to know so much about plants,” contemplated Soonyoung, sticking a piece of egg into his mouth.

“I’m a nature spirit. It’s innate to me.”

“A nature spirit?” Soonyoung questioned, interested, “can you talk to plants then?”

Jihoon actually snorted at Soonyoung’s words, finally turning his head to meet his eyes, “plants don’t talk,” he said, slight amusement on his voice, “but you could say I understand them?”

“What can you tell about my plant, then?” Asked Soonyoung, trying to not let his slight embarrassment show.

“If you’re worried about having killed it, don’t worry. Doesn’t seem like it will hold any grudges against you,” said Jihoon, sticking a piece of omelet into his mouth right after.

“I hadn’t even considered that.”

“Maybe try being more considerate of its feelings from now on.”

“I,” Soonyoung paused for a second, looking at his small plant still carefully held by Jihoon, it had never even crossed his mind that maybe his plant could have feelings, or even hold grudges, sounded made up, but how to deny it after all he had witnessed in less than 24 hours? “I’ll be more mindful, I never thought, I mean–”

“It’s okay, I already told you. It’ll be okay as long as you don’t make the same mistakes again.”

Soonyoung hummed, his eyebrows knitting together as he processed his knew knowledge.

“Do you think I should name it?” He said after a minute.

“You should,” said Jihoon, his lips curling into a soft smile, a matching one appearing on Soonyoung’s own face. He turned towards his plate to eat the last pieces of egg. _This was nice_. He had to admit it, he was used to eating breakfast alone, but this – sitting in the counter with company, getting to make small talk while eating – felt really nice. As he slowly stuck the last piece of omelet into his mouth, he silently wondered for how long would he get to eat breakfast like this. He knew it was pointless to get used to it, since Jihoon was going to be just a temporary and very brief presence in his life, but it damn sure was tempting.

…

It had been weird at first, adapting to having Jihoon around. He had been wary, not really wanting to let the other alone in his home but ultimately having no other option. He had to work, and although he had considered bringing Jihoon with him to the studio, the idea had vanished pretty fast from his head. Not only had he no idea of what he would tell his friends and coworkers ( _‘This is Jihoon! The spirit from the shrine I visited to get help with my love life.’_ – yeah, they would probably think him crazy), but Jihoon had refused profusely, claiming he preferred – and by preferred he actually meant his decision was final – to stay at home. 

So, after a while of living together, they were starting to get into a small routine of their own. Soonyoung would wake up every morning and cook breakfast for both of them, sometimes, Jihoon would sit on a stool on the counter, observing and actually commenting on his poor cooking abilities. Soonyoung found he actually enjoyed it, having the company, so it wasn’t really burdensome.

( _“You don’t really know how to cut vegetables, do you?”_

__

__

__

_“Well, do you?”_

_Jihoon shrugged his shoulders, “would probably do it better than you anyway.”_

_“I’m not stopping you from trying.”_

_Jihoon actually stood up and took the knife from Soonyoung, Soonyoung raised his eyebrows as he waited for Jihoon to cut the vegetables._

_“I guess we both suck.” Jihoon admitted after a while._

_Soonyoung laughed loudly. Jihoon laughed too, a defeated expression on his face._ )

They had eventually started cooking together.

Overall, adapting to having Jihoon around, although a little weird at first, hadn’t really been hard. They would have lunch together most days, when Soonyoung found the time to walk back from the studio (not that it was far anyway). Even if Jihoon had insisted it wasn’t necessary Soonyoung still felt it was better that way – he was thankful that Jun and Chan hadn’t been asking questions about where he was disappearing to at lunch, he would have no idea of how to deflect those and was convinced the truth wouldn’t be easily accepted.

If there was something Soonyoung would said he wasn’t happy about, was Jihoon refusing – not directly thought – to speak in deep about their deal. Jihoon was a quiet guy most of the time, and even though he wasn’t against having casual conversation with Soonyoung, there was something about his attitude every time Soonyoung tried to bring the subject up that just had him biting his tongue in frustration.

Soonyoung just couldn’t grasp his head on the idea that a spirit would willingly leave his shrine to spend his time boringly and uninterestingly at at human’s house. It made no sense to him, what would Jihoon get out of the deal? There had to be, surely, something Jihoon hadn’t told him, but when Soonyoung had tried asking, the frown on Jihoon’s face was enough discouragement to get his words stuck on his throat every time he wanted to bring the subject up again.

( _“Why would you make a deal with a human?”_

__

__

_“Do I need a reason?” Jihoon arched an eyebrow._

_“Yeah, I would think so.”_

_Jihoon was quiet for a minute. Soonyoung looked intently at him, noting the way his eyebrows moved to form a frown._

_“Well, maybe you’re wrong.” He finally said. And that was it._ )

Soonyoung was sitting on the floor, stretching while thinking about the past few days. He looked at the clock on the wall of the practice room he had been working on, it was still early, and if things were anything like before, he wouldn’t have been leaving for another 3 or 4 hours, but he knew that Jihoon, even if the other denied it, was waiting for him to eat diner. Soonyoung, if he could avoid it, would prefer to not make the other wait for too long. He sighed, it was incredible, the way his routine had changed to accommodate Jihoon.

He finished stretching and stoop up, walking to the door ready to go take a short shower and go home. He took three steps before something caught his attention through one of the mirrors in the room. He turned around, meeting Jun and Chan’s eyes with an eyebrow raised. There was a playful smile on Jun’s lips as they made their way towards him.

“Well, well, Soonyoung, it seems like the trip to the shrine worked better than even your mother could have hoped for.” Said Jun, the teasing smile never leaving his lips.

Soonyoung’s eyebrows knitted together, “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked. Jun laughed loudly and Chan smiled at him sweetly.

“I’m really happy for you hyung!” Chan got closer to him and patted his back. Soonyoung was confused.

“When were you going to tell us?” accused Jun, his shoulder still shaking with the remnants of laughter, “for someone who wasn’t interested in a relationship you surely got yourself one pretty fast, is that shrine really so effective? Maybe I should pay a visit too.”

It finally clicked in Soonyoung's mind what his friends were implying, he let a tired laugh out, thinking of how wrong they were.

“I’m not dating anyone.”

Jun narrowed his eyes a bit, a disbelieving expression taking form on his face, “stop with the lies and evasion already, we’re really happy for you Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung sighed again, but smiled at his friends. “seriously guys, I'm not dating anyone.”

Jun shrugged his shoulders, totally dismissing Soonyoung’s words, “why are you leaving so early then? And where are you going every day at lunch? You’re obviously dating someone.”

“You don’t have to hide it from us,” added Chan.

Soonyoung’s mind went inevitably to Jihoon. The actual reason for his recent change of behavior. How could he explain it to his friends?

“I guess you could say I got a roommate. I’m just helping him settle down.”

Jun looked unconvinced but Soonyoung didn’t answer any more questions, he headed towards the showers, deciding to ignore the comment jun made.

“A roommate? Is that like secret code for boyfriend or something?”

…

The way back home would had been as uneventful as always if it weren’t for a simple detail.

It was raining. It looked like it would get heavy pretty soon. 

Soonyoung stopped for a while to get some take out, entering the place and placing his order. He took a sit by a window, waiting for the food to be done, and his eyes were drawn outside, to the drops of water falling repeatedly against the glass.

_Rain._

The rain was… unsettling. It had always been for Soonyoung. He didn’t really understand the reason for his discomfort, it was a hard to explain feeling. He hated rainy nights, he usually found himself unable to sleep, the slight uncomfortableness that came with these dark, cold and lonely nights were too much for him.

He walked home with the bag of warm food in one hand and his umbrella in the other, his mood turning blue momentarily, just the regular effect rain had on him. He eventually reached his building, closing his umbrella and getting into the elevator. Everything should have been as uneventful as always, but that had already been ruined by rain, what he wasn’t expecting, thought, was for things to get as extraordinary as they did. He stepped out of the elevator in his floor and he felt it immediately, something was weird.

He walked slowly towards his door, stopping every movement for a second before entering the code to open the door. What was that sound? He tried to focus, closing his eyes, and he heard it clearly, a low guitar melody coming from inside his apartment, and with the sound came a deep feeling of loneliness and sadness, just the way he had felt back at Jihoon’s shrine. He laid one of his hand over his chest, umbrella forgotten on the floor for a second, the feeling inside of him too strange, so familiar but so foreign at the same time. He shook his head, trying to get the feeling away but to no avail, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He punched the code in and cursed out loud when he missed the first time.

He went in fast, not remembering to take the umbrella with him in his rush to take his shoes off and get in. He wasn’t prepared for the sight that welcomed him in.

There were dry and yellowish leaves flying all around his leaving room, he was immediately frozen in place, mouth opening and bag of take out heavy on the tip of his fingers as he looked at the magical scene in front of him, it was as though time had gotten slower.

He looked at the source of the melody, the most heartbreaking sound he had heard in a long time, and saw Jihoon, sitting on the windowsill with the guitar Soonyoung had bought when he was convinced he was going to learn how to play, just to abandon a few weeks later. The scene in front of him was mesmerizing, Jihoon, eyes closed and guitar in hands, rain drops hitting the window and sliding down reflecting on him. He was humming faintly while playing, yellow leaves flying softly all around, he felt as if he had entered another dimension.

Soonyoung’s heart contracted painfully in his chest, there was something about Jihoon, about his expression, his silhouette, so much anguish, so much sadness, so much... loneliness.

“Jihoon,” Soonyoung spoke, softly, struggling to get the words out, too afraid of unleashing the knot in his throat, and it was as if a spell broke, Jihoon opened his eyes abruptly, and the guitar melody stopped, the leaves flying all around fell gently to the floor.

Soonyoung looked directly at Jihoon, and Jihoon didn’t look away, they stared in silence at each other, Soonyoung slowly feeling the heavy weight in his chest dissipate, but too afraid to ask about it, and Jihoon, if Soonyoung was right about his hunch, too afraid of being asked about it.

Soonyoung broke the almost staring contest they were in, looking around and feeling a different kind of dread realizing the absolute mess his living room had become, dried leaves everywhere.

“what the hell Jihoon?” He said, instead of all the questions he had on the tip of his tongue.

Jihoon didn’t speak, but he looked guilty, and Soonyoung couldn’t help but wonder if the intense sadness he had felt just seconds before were Jihoon’s own feelings, he looked at the spirit, who looked small – and yeah, although Jihoon was short, Soonyoung wouldn’t normally say he was small –, and felt the need to reassure him, he sighed for the million time that day, everything about Jihoon was a huge mystery and he wanted to be brave enough to just ask.

Soonyoung walked towards Jihoon, and when he was close enough and was sure Jihoon was looking at him, said: “You shouldn’t sit there, even if the window’s closed you could still end up falling.” He smiled and took the guitar out of Jihoon’s hands, then, took Jihoon’s wrist and dragged him to the couch. He put the bag of take out he had brought with him in the coffee table and sat down on the floor, on a pile of dried leaves in front of the couch. “let’s eat first, we'll clean this mess after.”

Jihoon nodded, his expression starting to relax. He sat on the floor next to Soonyoung, on a different pile of dried leaves, and Soonyoung just found the situation too ridiculous. He was trying to get the dried leaves off the coffee table when it all became too much for him, he laughed, he was probably already losing his sanity, or whatever was left of it.

Jihoon looked at him with an eyebrow raised, and Soonyoung couldn’t help himself when he took a handful of leaves and threw them to Jihoon’s face, Jihoon’s shocked expression just made Soonyoung laugh louder.

Jihoon breathed hard through his nose before taking an even bigger handful of leaves and throwing them hard into Soonyoung’s face, some getting into Soonyoung’s mouth, and the sight of Soonyoung frowning and taking pieces of leaves from his mouth must have been entirely too amusing because the next thing Soonyoung knew was that Jihoon was laughing, and it was loud and precious, and if he had felt sadness before, Soonyoung felt his heart fill with joy at the sound of Jihoon’s laugh.

They threw leaves at each other, a content mood taking hold of them, and by the time they plopped down on the couch, the food was already cold and the apartment was twice as messy. They had pieces of leaves in their hairs and even inside their clothes, Soonyoung wouldn’t be surprised if there were leaves in his underwear. But at that moment, sitting next to Jihoon on the couch, both panting but smiling, Soonyoung couldn’t help but notice how long it had been since he had so much fun. He heard Jihoon moving a little next to him, and he turned his head to look at the other.

“I’m sorry for the mess,” said Jihoon with a low voice. But Soonyoung couldn’t remember if he had even been mad to begin with.

“What was it all about?” He asked, genuinely curious. 

Jihoon looked away from him to direct his gaze to the window, his voice was a little breathy when he finally answered, “there’s something about the rain, I just, don’t know how to explain it.”

But he didn’t have to, Soonyoung was sure he knew exactly what he meant. 

“It feels empty.” The words left Soonyoung’s mouth before he could even register them, he wasn’t sure if they made a lot of sense, but it was exactly what he felt every time it rained, as though something was missing.

Jihoon looked at him with surprised eyes. “That’s… right. I guess you could say so.”

There was silence for a minute after that, and Soonyoung should have probably found it weird, that Jihoon could relate to his words, to his unsettling feeling produced by rain, but he was so used to the feeling by now, it was always such a default thing to him, that it made sense for someone else to feel the same. So instead of dwelling on that, he looked at Jihoon, reaching one of his hands to take a big leaf off his hair, and said,

“Let’s just eat.”

Jihoon smiled, and Soonyoung answered the smile with a brighter simile, followed by a giggle when Jihoon spoke again.

“I hope you brought rice.”

It hadn’t been that long, but Soonyoung was surprised by how comfortable he had gotten with Jihoon. He couldn’t help but wonder for how long would the other stay. And it seemed like, the longer he spent with Jihoon, the less he could think of a wish to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Thanks so much for reading this totally self indulgent thing lol
> 
> I worried so much about this chapter, I didn't want to rush things too much but I don't know how not to rush things so this was the outcome. I hope you managed to enjoy it anyway <3
> 
> I actually have no idea of how to care for plants properly and have killed all three succulents I've had, I wish I could have a second chance too (a fourth chance?) :'( 
> 
> Anyway, are you all as excited as me with the teaser pictures we got this week? I was literally screaming to my friends about them, I already ordered my album and I'm so excited you have no idea! 
> 
> Thanks again for taking the time to read this, I hope to see you soon and take care! <3 <3 <3


	4. Chapter 4

_The warm and comforting feeling of the sun on his face._

_A gentle breeze caressing his skin._

_There was a calm and pleasant feeling spreading from his chest._

_He closed his eyes for a second, basking in the feeling, a slight noise from his side catching his attention after a while._

_He turned his face, something sweet and gentle bubbling inside of him; the certainty of the sight that would greet him making his smile grow._

…

Soonyoung groaned loudly when his alarm woke him up. He had been having a nice dream, the warm and sweet lingering feeling from it being disturbed by the rather boisterous beeping coming from his phone. He reached his arm out to take his phone and stop the sound, closing his eyes again and rolling into his blanket once more in hopes to return to whatever it had been he had been dreaming about. He covered his face with the blanket, trying to block the light from the window, but it was just pointless, sleep refused to come back to him again, his mind suddenly filled with thoughts.

Strangely – or maybe not strange at all – it was mostly thoughts of Jihoon.

He kicked his blanket aside, feeling a little bit frustrated but not finding the strength to get up just yet. His mind inevitably going to what had been bothering him lately.

_Jihoon._

Soonyoung sighed, his limbs suddenly heavy against his bedsheets. Although it had been weird at first, having Jihoon around and getting used to his presence had been so easy he hadn’t even realized how much he had started anticipating the time he got to spend with the other. There was something intriguing and alluring about the spirit, Soonyoung had many things he wanted to know about him, so much he wanted to understand. But overall, it was… nice.

Having Jihoon around was, undeniably, nice. And Soonyoung felt like an idiot, getting attached to someone who would, most probably sooner rather than later, be gone.

He rubbed his eyes, not feeling quite as energetic as always but knowing there was no point in staying in bed letting his thoughts go wild over an issue he had no control over. He knew it wasn’t wise to get attached to Jihoon, but he hadn’t chosen it, it had happened before he had the time to even realize it. 

He got up slowly, slipping into his tiger slippers, an unfiltered smile spreading on his face at the memory of Jihoon wearing an identical pair with a frown. Soonyoung had shrugged his shoulders, and Jihoon had closed his eyes tight in resignation, the sight entirely too endearing not to remind with a fond smile – he had thanked Jun in his mind that day, for buying a pair of the rather cute tiger slippers for him, even if he had given them to Soonyoung as an ironic present (joke had been on Jun, though, since Soonyoung had already bought a pair on his own – completely unironically.)

He walked out of his room, in direction to the kitchen, his eyes glancing briefly towards Jihoon’s door. It was still closed, meaning the other was most likely still asleep.

He entered the kitchen and prepared some coffee, a lazy yawn escaping his mouth as he walked to the counter. He took a sip of his coffee and laid the warm cup on the counter, his small succulent catching his attention.

“Good morning Ji,” said Soonyoung, a cute smile on his face. He had named his plant Ji, after Jihoon, since he had brought it back to life. Jihoon had scrunched his nose and called him an idiot for it, but the tips of his mouth had been pointing upwards and his ears had been red. He hadn’t really disliked it, Soonyoung was sure. Embarrassed? Maybe, but pissed off, definitely not. He smiled while remembering it, and a sudden thought materialized in his mind – _“cute”_ – he realized with an uncomfortable feeling in his chest that it was becoming common for him, to find Jihoon cute.

He tried to shake the thought out of his mind as best as he could, his attention directed once more towards his plant, “what should I make for breakfast?” He asked. 

He had initially found it weird, talking to a plant, but he had finally understood what people meant when they said that giving something a name would make you get attached. (Or maybe it was just his nature, getting attached easily. He took another sip of his coffee, his face lazily supported by his hand, the uncomfortable feeling stubbornly returning, his eyes drawn towards Jihoon’s closed door.

He sighed, somehow frustrated and confused. He knew Jihoon was a spirit, that fact was more than accepted and interiorized by now. He also knew the only reason Jihoon was in his home was because of some deal they made – more like some deal Jihoon dragged him into – and the only way to fulfill their deal was by asking for a wish to be granted. It sounded easy enough, but having the power to ask for a wish seemed like a little too much to handle for him. What if he wished for the wrong thing and made things complicated unknowingly? It seemed easy, but there had to be a catch somewhere.

 _“Would I get to see Jihoon again if I wish for something?”_ He was a little bit surprised by the thought, the uncomfortable feeling from before gaining force. He didn’t have time, however, to dwell on it.

The door to Jihoon’s room opened suddenly and Soonyoung was met with quite the sight. Jihoon was wearing his pajamas – _Soonyoung’s pajamas_ – the pants a little bit too long on him, the cute tiger slippers on his feet, his hair messy, and a slight frown on his face.

“I can hear you thinking all the way from inside the room.”

Soonyoung choked on his coffee. It couldn’t be true, right? The mere idea of Jihoon being able to listen to his thoughts was beyond embarrassing.

“I didn’t mean it literally. I can’t really hear your thoughts, you were making a really intense face.”

Soonyoung’s shoulders relaxed visibly at Jihoon’s words, but he could still feel the embarrassment pressing somewhere inside of him. He smiled, trying to deflect the attention from his surely red ears, “okay, then. Good morning Jihoon.”

“Good morning,” said Jihoon, voice still rough with sleep. He moved towards the counter and took sit on a stool in front of Soonyoung, his eyes going towards the small succulent for a second before returning to look at Soonyoung.

“Ji seems happy. You’re doing good.”

The sudden compliment surprised him, he wasn’t sure of why, but hearing Jihoon’s words had made his heart skip a beat. He was thankful his ears had been red already.

“I still find it weird, how you seem to understand what Ji feels.”

“I’m a nature spirit, that shouldn’t surprise you at all.”

Soonyoung hummed in response. He knew Jihoon was a spirit, but everything still felt too surreal sometimes.

“What would you like for breakfast?” Said Soonyoung, walking to the fridge and opening it.

Jihoon shrugged his shoulders, “anything’s fine.”

“What about egg fried rice?”

“Sounds good to me,” said Jihoon.

“Anything sounds good to you if there’s rice.”

“Rice’s good.”

“Is that why you decided to make a deal with me? ‘Cause I brought rice to your shrine?” Soonyoung asked, genuinely curious, while taking some eggs out of the fridge.

“Maybe,” said Jihoon, and although Soonyoung knew there was more to it he didn’t really insist anymore. He still remembered how eager Jihoon had been to leave his shrine that day, how hard he had held his wrist while running out. There was surely a reason he couldn’t quite understand still, but Jihoon wasn’t good at opening up and Soonyoung wasn’t good at pressuring people.

They ate breakfast in comfortable silence, making small conversation from time to time, the small smile on Jihoon’s lips letting Soonyoung know he was actually enjoying his company just as much.

They finished eating and Jihoon offered to help wash the dishes. The first time it happened Soonyoung had been a little bit skeptical about it, did spirits even have to wash dishes in the spirit world? Jihoon laughed at him when he voiced his question, and Soonyoung couldn’t get offended when Jihoon’s laugh made him feel so warm inside. 

Soonyoung finished getting ready to work, saying his goodbye from the door while putting his shoes on. He turned around for a second before going out, catching sight of Jihoon comfortably sprawled on the couch, TV turned on. The spirit turned his head to look at Soonyoung, gazes meeting for a moment while Jihoon slightly moved his hand as a way of saying goodbye. 

And Soonyoung felt it again, setting in his stomach, that persistent feeling of worry he felt every time he realized just how used to each other they were getting.

He closed the door and sighed, what was he going to do?

…

Days went by, and with every single one of them, Soonyoung grew a little bit more accustomed to having Jihoon stay with him. It was just… _so easy_ , having Jihoon in his life.

They were both currently sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, dinner long gone and a silly movie playing on tv. There was a comfortable silence between them, filled only by the low mutter of the tv in front, however, Soonyoung wasn’t really paying attention to the movie, thoughts of the last few weeks in his mind. He looked at Jihoon by the corner of his eyes and saw him scrunching his face in reaction to something in the movie. He couldn’t help but smile, there was always something pleasant about looking at Jihoon, he felt strangely at peace.

“This is dumb.” Said Jihoon suddenly, and Soonyoung looked at the tv to understand what the spirit was talking about.

“But is funny, isn’t it?”

“I guess? If you like dumb stuff.” 

Soonyoung laughed, amused by Jihoon’s stern expression, and a sudden thought appeared on his mind, he didn’t even stop to think how embarrassed he had been last time he asked something like this to Jihoon before the words were coming out of his mouth.

“Do you even have like, tv in the spirit world?”

Jihoon raised an eyebrow at him, a teasing smile suddenly curving his lips, and Soonyoung remembered right there how much Jihoon had laughed at him when he implied spirits probably didn’t even have to wash the dishes. 

“How do you think we live in the spirit world Soonyoung?”

“I mean, I don’t know, with magic?”

Jihoon laughed, and Soonyoung couldn’t help but stare at his face, Jihoon’s laughing face and the sound of his laugh, it was all so… nice, he wasn’t sure of how to express the warm feeling he felt inside.

“We have a lot of human’s devices, we have a lot of magic too.”

Soonyoung scratched his chin, his lips forming a slight pout while he tried to visualize the mix of magic and technology.

“So, when I went to your shrine, that was the spirit world, right?” 

“Right,” said Jihoon simply.

“Do you have a tv there, then?”

“I don’t.”

Soonyoung looked at Jihoon, none of them focused on the movie anymore. “Why’s that?”

Jihoon sighed and looked briefly in the opposite direction, through the window. Soonyoung had noted he did that a lot and wondered if he somehow found comfort in the view – the clouds, the stars, maybe the moon – Jihoon eventually looked back at him and spoke, his voice calm and serious, “I don’t really like humans, don’t take this bad Soonyoung, but your kind… humans are just too unpredictable, destroying everything around, even themselves, it’s just-” he didn’t finish, but he didn’t have to for Soonyoung to understand.

“I guess that’s actually understandable, especially for a nature spirit, we as a species haven’t been exactly nice.”

“You could say so.” There was a weird pause after Jihoon’s words, his eyebrows were furrowed and his expression looked like he wanted to say something more, so Soonyoung waited, but Jihoon, despite his pensive expression, stayed silent. The silence this time around, however, wasn’t the cozy and comfy one they usually shared. It felt heavy, and Soonyoung couldn’t help the need to fill it, not wanting to be trapped in an unbearable atmosphere.

“So, you don’t own any ‘human devices’?” 

“I do.”

“Oh?” The answer had actually surprised Soonyoung. After what Jihoon had said he was sure the other wouldn’t own anything human-related, but it seemed like he had been wrong, and his curiosity was picked, “what is it?”

“Mmm?” Jihoon avoided his eyes for a second, his voice low when he finally spoke, “It’s a clarinet.”

Soonyoung opened his eyes, surprised once again, “wait, you play the clarinet?”

“yes.”

“What about the guitar? I saw you playing it too!”

“I don’t own a guitar, but you could say I’m very familiar with a lot of musical instruments, be it human’s creation or not.”

“Since you said you disliked humans, I thought you would hate everything related to us,” said Soonyoung with a thoughtful expression.

“There’s something beautiful about your music devices, and music is…” there was a brief pause, Soonyoung saw how Jihoon contemplated for a second, probably looking for the right words to say, “it’s something nature really enjoys too,” Jihoon’s eyes softened as he finished speaking, and Soonyoung could only stare at him. He had thought Jihoon would have a sort of blind hate towards humans, and he wouldn’t even be able to blame him for it. It had clearly been a misjudgment on his part though. Jihoon, although not really understanding humans’ behavior, that could be so destructive sometimes, still found beauty within it.

“You’re really something Jihoon.”

“What does that even mean,” said Jihoon, one of his eyebrow curving, forming a questioning expression.

Soonyoung smiled his way, small and sweet, “you look and act all tough, but I guess you’re actually a softie. It’s kind of cute.”

“Shut up, I’ll punch you.”

Soonyoung was sure Jihoon’s ears had turned a slight shade of pink, and a giggle escaped his lips, “You’re definitely cute.”

Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows deeply and punched Soonyoung’s arm, It was a hard punch but not as hard as it could have been, Soonyoung laughed loudly while holding his arm and collapsed to the floor pretending to be seriously injured, “You wounded me Jihoon!”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m not, I’m injured!” Soonyoung laughed some more and he heard Jihoon chuckle next to him.

“Call me cute again and you won’t survive.”

“You’re the worst!” Said Soonyoung sitting again but still holding and caressing his arm, he directed a pout to Jihoon, “Tell me about the magic and I’ll forgive you.”

Jihoon scoffed at him, “who says I want your forgiveness?”

“Come on Jihoooon,” Soonyoung whined, trying to make eye contact with Jihoon, and the moment their eyes met, they both exploded in happy laughter.

A warm and almost familiar feeling took place in his chest, spreading all over from there. It was a comfortable and pleasant feeling, and he was so lost in the moment he didn’t even have time to worry about it, his mind painted with a single thought: _“Jihoon is definitely cute.”_

…

The warm and pleasant feeling Soonyoung felt around Jihoon started to shape further inside of him the longest they spent together. He didn’t want to address it, the uneasiness growing as well every time he tried to face it. Was it really okay for him to get so comfortable with Jihoon? The spirit never pressured him to make a wish, which kind of confirmed his suspicion that he wasn’t in a hurry to go back, but without having clear confirmation from Jihoon, Soonyoung couldn’t help but worry.

Soonyoung had tried many times to think of any wish to make, but nothing worth it really came to his mind. He seriously had everything he needed, his dance studio was successful, he had great friends, his family loved and supported him, and they were all, as much as he could see, happy and healthy. So it wasn’t a stretch at all when he said he didn’t have anything to wish for, he was pretty content right now, so much he couldn’t even remember the last time he felt lonely– 

He stopped that track of thought as soon as it appeared in his mind, he knew exactly which path he was about to go down if he kept that way, and it was a really dangerous one, one he was trying avidly to avoid. His stomach turned with concern, and all his effort was ultimately pointless. He was too aware of the reason he hadn’t felt lonely at all lately, he just didn’t feel like looking deeper into it, too afraid of even thinking there was something deeper to look into.

He groaned, frustrated, turning in bed so his face was completely hidden by his pillow. He wanted to go back to sleep, but he was unable to relax enough for it to happen. He turned his head, trying to look into the clock on his bedside table, it read 2 am. He had been rolling in bed for over an hour now, and it felt ridiculous to keep on trying when it was going to be so obviously useless. He got out of bed groggily, intending to grab a late-night snack from the kitchen and maybe throw himself on the couch and watch drama reruns until he managed to fall back asleep. It wasn’t ideal but it was a good enough plan. He opened his bedroom door and found himself unable to move for a second, startled by a low murmur coming from somewhere in the living room. He was tired and sleep-deprived, but he knew immediately that it was Jihoon.

He walked slowly into the living room, not really surprised to see Jihoon, once again, sitting on the windowsill, window wide open and moonlight on his face. He didn’t have the guitar this time around, but Soonyoung could hear the low hum coming from him, and as he got closer to the other, a slight feeling of sadness started to sit uncomfortably in his chest.

Soonyoung just stood there, awkwardly rooted in the middle of his living room, staring at Jihoon in part awe and part worry. The sad feeling in his chest felt mild in comparison to what he had felt the first time, he didn’t understand why it happened, but it seemed like Jihoon’s feelings were sometimes projected on him, and the mere thought of the other feeling sad was already heartbreaking enough as it was, now, getting to feel it himself? He couldn’t really wrap his head around it. He tried to focus on the feeling, to make it his own, which wasn’t really hard at all. Although foreign, it still felt familiar to him. 

This kind of sadness, some form of nostalgia, of missing something. He was definitely familiar with it, but getting to experience it from someone’s else point of view was completely different.

He decided to get closer to Jihoon, with slow and almost timid steps, Jihoon’s low singing clearer the closer he got, and Soonyoung, as if suddenly falling victim to a spell, found himself lost in the way the moonlight enhanced Jihoon’s facial features, his pale skin almost shining in the darkness of the night. It wasn’t until Soonyoung was almost just a breath away from Jihoon that a petal hit his face, startling him and taking him out of his almost trance. He looked out of the window, an enchanted and out of the world view meeting his eyes. It was raining. But no, this wasn’t your regular rain. _It was raining petals._

He looked at Jihoon once more, not sure if the other hadn’t really realized he was there, or if he was choosing to ignore him. He couldn’t help but be inclined towards the first option, there was no way Jihoon wasn’t aware of his presence when he was less than a step away from touching him. So touch him he did. Reaching his hand to remove and small and dry petal from Jihoon’s dark hair. The other didn’t even flinch at the action.

“Jihoon,” Soonyoung said softly.

Jihoon stopped singing, and the moment he did, every single petal outside fell gently to the floor, the magical rain abruptly over, the same way the weird feeling inside of him faded.

“Are you okay?”

Jihoon didn’t answer.

“Why are you so sad Jihoon?”

Jihoon finally moved, turning his head to look into Soonyoung’s eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it,” his voice was low, and Soonyoung felt his heart clench a bit at the sound of it.

“I think you should, though, this…” Soonyoung signaled awkwardly to his chest, not knowing how to properly express what he wanted to say, “… this weird feeling I get, every time I see you like this, I know it’s yours, this sadness.”

Judging by the way his eyes opened and his lips tightened, Soonyoung could tell his words had greatly surprised Jihoon, who looked out once more, avoiding Soonyoung’s eyes. Soonyoung was convinced Jihoon had decided to just ignore him once more, so he was surprised when he heard him speaking.

“I’m sorry you had to feel that Soonyoung, I have trouble containing my emotions sometimes. I didn’t know– I didn’t think you…” To Soonyoung’s frustration, Jihoon didn’t finish his idea. Soonyoung sighed loudly, clearly dissatisfied, he just wanted Jihoon to let go and open up.

“You say you can’t control your emotions, but the truth is you’re very good at keeping things to yourself, Jihoon.” Jihoon didn’t even try to react in any way to Soonyoung’s words, and there was nothing Soonyoung could do to stop the feeling of helplessness growing inside of him. He groaned lowly, a hand running throw his already messy hair before voicing his thoughts out again. “I understand you don’t want to talk to me about it, and you could say we don’t really know each other very well, I know I’m just some human you made a deal with, as who know how many others, but, I guess I have come to care about you, you know? I would never judge you Jihoon, I just want to help you.”

Jihoon finally looked at him, moonlight bright on his face, and Soonyoung’s mind took a momentary detour, wandering into his so-called dangerous territory, a clear and loud thought occupying his entire mind. ‘Cute’ was way too far from the word to describe Jihoon, beautiful was definitely a better fit.

“You’re the only one.”

“Mm?” Jihoon’s voice brought him up to reality.

“you’re the only human I’ve ever made a deal with, you were the first human I ever saw.” 

Jihoon’s words surprised Soonyoung. He had thought it was a common occurrence for Jihoon to have humans barge into his shrine demanding for wishes to be conceded. He couldn’t really understand why, of all the humans on the planet, he, who had no need for a wish, had ended up in Jihoon’s shrine.

“Jihoon.”

Soonyoung took Jihoon’s wrist softly, trying to get him to stand up. Jihoon stood up, avoiding Soonyoung’s eyes but without shaking his hand away.

“Look, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, whenever you’re ready you now I'll listen to you, okay?”

“Okay,” said Jihoon, and Soonyoung smiled slightly, knowing very well it was highly unlikely that Jihoon would look for him to tell him his concerns willingly, but he had nothing to lose by offering. 

Soonyoung looked around, the TV didn’t sound so tempting anymore, and he doubted any of them could go back to sleep easily at the moment. He looked at Jihoon again, their hands still linked, the other’s eyes directed to a random spot on the floor, and Soonyoung really wanted to do something to try and make him feel better, an idea suddenly popping in his mind.

“You know Jihoon, I know a great way of feeling better.”

Jihoon looked at him, a glimpse of curiosity on his face. 

“You trust me, right?”

Jihoon nodded.

“Well, I know you don’t like going out much, but trust me on this, there’s no better way of letting go of sadness.”

Jihoon’s brow furrowed at the mention of going out, but Soonyoung had his mind already set on this and he just knew it was going to help Jihoon feel a little bit better, at least for tonight, and even if it seemed small, it was all Soonyoung could do to try and help him. 

…

Thinking it through, maybe it was a little bit crazy, bringing Jihoon to his dance studio at almost 3 am. He owned the place and even so it felt as if he were trespassing. Jihoon just looked at him while he entered the code and deactivated the alarm.

They entered the place, it was dark and empty, but Soonyoung couldn’t really say it was an unfamiliar sight, he had stayed late many times, being the last one to leave he had gotten to witness the place in the same state too many times to be approved by his mom if she ever found out. He turned the lights on and saw the way Jihoon looked around, something like curiosity dancing in his eyes.

“Is this where you work?”

Soonyoung smiled brightly, he was extremely proud of his studio, “that’s right, pretty cool, don’t you think?”

“I guess so.”

“Okay, come over here,” Soonyoung guided Jihoon to his favorite practice room, and Jihoon just looked curiously around while Soonyoung connected his phone to the audio system.

Music started to play, a cute and bright song. Jihoon looked up, trying to identify the source of the sound, but Soonyoung interrupted him with a slight pat on his shoulder. Jihoon turned towards him with an eyebrow raised.

“Let’s dance, Jihoonie!” Soonyoung smiled happily, giggling a little at the slight furrow on Jihoon’s lips, probably as a reaction to the nickname. Soonyoung took his hand gently and dragged him to the middle of the room before he had time to complain.

“I’m not good at dancing,” Jihoon confessed, avoiding meeting Soonyoung’s eyes directly.

“So what? We’re dancing just for ourselves, there’s no one to judges us here, I promise you I'll make you forget, just trust me.” 

“Okay,” said Jihoon, and Soonyoung’s smile was so bright it put the sun to shame.

…

Dancing was fun. 

Soonyoung knew, and he was sure Jihoon – if he didn’t already know – had realized it too. The spirit wasn’t even half as bad as he had made it sound before and had been able to follow Soonyoung quite well. They were now in the middle of a silly competition, daring each other to try ridiculous dance steps, pointlessly trying to ridicule each other, but both too prideful to reject a challenge.

It was the most fun Soonyoung had had in so long; he was positive Jihoon could relate to the feeling.

Jihoon was in the middle of performing a pretty comical dance step Soonyoung had suggested. Soonyoung observed him, lips sucked in and frame shaking with contained laughter, and when Jihoon suddenly turned towards him, eyes meeting for a second, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He laughed loudly, collapsing to the floor while holding his stomach, struggling to even catch his breath. Jihoon stopped what he was doing and looked at him with what could only be described as murdering intent. Soonyoung laughed harder.

Jihoon got closer to him, looking at him from above; Soonyoung looked back through narrowed eyes, taking in difficult deep breaths to try and regain his composure if even just a bit. Jihoon’s eyebrow furrowed closer together, Soonyoung said in between pants:

“I surrender Jihoonie, I have no more energy left in my body.”

Soonyoung saw the scowl slowly turn into a mischievous expression on Jihoon’s face, “I win, then,” he said.

“Indeed, but you totally set me up, saying you weren’t a good dancer. You’re plenty good.” Soonyoung smiled, still lying on the floor but slowly reaching one of his hands up, asking Jihoon for help standing up.

Jihoon actually offered his hand to Soonyoung, answering the smile the other was giving him with a small and sweet one of his own; Soonyoung ignored the weird jump his heart made at the sight. He took Jihoon’s hand, holding strongly on to it, but before Jihoon could help him get up, he pulled hard, making the spirit fall to the ground next to him.

Jihoon glared at him from what looked like a pretty awkward position. Soonyoung laughed, not as strong or loud as before, his body too tired but the amusement too great. Jihoon was trying hard to keep the frown on his face, but it didn’t last long, Soonyoung’s laugh, although tired, was contagious. They were soon lying next to each other on the floor, laughing, sweaty, and exhausted, not wanted to move anymore.

The laughter eventually died down, the practice room filled only with the music and their heavy breathing.

“Soonyoung.”

Jihoon’s voice seemed to be charged with emotion, and for once, Soonyoung could tell with confidence it wasn’t sadness. Soonyoung smiled in his direction, getting a little lost in Jihoon’s pretty eyes.

“Soonyoung.”

Jihoon repeated, and Soonyoung hummed in response this time.

“Thank you.”

His heart skipped a bit, and it was so much harder to ignore this time around when they were so close and looking into each other’s eyes.

“I told you this would help.”

“It did.”

There was no other word to describe what Jihoon’s words made him feel than happiness. He felt happy, knowing he had been able to help the other, even if just a bit, even if just for a night. He tried to look into the spirit’s eyes again, with his heart pounding hard in his chest, but he was unable. Jihoon was looking away, and Soonyoung, suddenly feeling brave, took a deep breath and slowly reached his hand to take Jihoon’s own, gently tangling their fingers. The tact was soft at first, Soonyoung waiting to see if Jihoon would reject the gesture, but when it didn’t happen, Soonyoung had the helpless realization that he not only could but totally wanted to get used to this.

They stayed like that for a bit, laying on the floor, breathings softening and heart rates going down, exhaustion making their limbs feel heavy, and just when Jihoon’s breathing pattern had convinced Soonyoung the other had fallen asleep, his soft and unusually gentle voice was heard:

“Have you ever been in love?”

The question seemed to come from nowhere, so unexpected and random, but Soonyoung was too tired to analyze.

“I guess so,” he said simply, voice low and breathy. He had had his fair amount of relationships, none of them fulfilling, but none of them completely void of emotion either. “Have you?”

Jihoon took a while to answer, Soonyoung just looked at him, waiting. 

“My best friend fell in love…” He paused suddenly, the expression on his face hard to read.

Soonyoung just looked at him curiously. That hadn’t been the answer he had expected, but it somehow seemed like Jihoon was sharing something important. He felt elated at the possibility that, maybe, Jihoon was starting to get comfortable enough around him to open up.

“That’s cool?” He voiced it as a question, trying to prompt Jihoon to continue. 

“He fell for a human.”

Right. Spirits and humans could fall in love. The reminder had made something inside of him churn, he felt eager without really understanding the reason, suddenly hyperaware of the feeling of Jihoon’s hand still on his own.

“But that’s okay, right?” He asked, his voice lowering a bit before speaking again, “It’s not forbidden or anything.”

Jihoon made a weird sound Soonyoung wasn’t really sure of how to interpret, then, turned his head to the side to look at him, “Of course it’s not forbidden, love can’t really be forbidden, but is not advised to fall for a human. No offense, but humans aren’t exactly… trustworthy.” Jihoon looked away once more after he said the last word, and Soonyoung’s heart was suddenly flaring up uncontrollably in his chest. How could he be offended if, earlier, when he had asked Jihoon if he trusted him, the spirit hadn’t hesitated for half a second before nodding in agreement?

Jihoon trusted him.

Humans weren’t trustworthy, but Jihoon trusted him.

“None taken.” was all Soonyoung could say.

Silence fell between them for a minute before Soonyoung broke it, “did your friend get his heart broken by that human?”

Jihoon didn’t answer immediately, and Soonyoung had to look to make sure the other hadn’t fallen asleep.

“No. He seems very happy, actually.”

“That’s great.”

Soonyoung thought that would be it, so he was surprised when Jihoon spoke again, his voice low and hesitant, “I couldn’t understand it, what’s so great about a human?”

Another reminder. This time causing him an unpleasant feeling. Jihoon didn’t really like humans. Soonyoung didn’t know what to say, so he stayed silent, waiting for Jihoon to say something else.

Jihoon met his eyes directly, maintaining eye contact for a brief moment before turning his head towards the ceiling again. Soonyoung looked at the side of his face and saw him take a deep breath before, with the softest voice Soonyoung had heard from him, he said: 

“I guess not all humans are bad after all.”

Soonyoung tightened his hold on Jihoon’s hand, squeezing a few times to let him know he had heard him, not trusting himself to say anything coherent back. He knew there was a silly smile on his face, but there was no point in fighting it. He closed his eyes, feeling tiredness finally win him over, sleep strongly overpowering him. The last thing he could remember was Jihoon slowly getting closer to him and laying his forehead against his shoulder.

Morning found them both sleeping together on the floor of the practice room, fingers interlaced and faces pressed closely together, music still playing softly in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I'm so sorry this took forever, I'm not sure when will the next chapter be ready since I still have to work on my entry for the HOWOOnderlan fest! I got a cute prompt and I hope I can finish it soon, after that I'll focus on the next chapter of this story <3
> 
> Take care and stay healthy! <3


	5. Chapter 5

A bright light shining on his face was what took Soonyoung out of his sleep, his mind slowly regaining consciousness again. His neck felt slightly stiff and his entire body seemed to hurt a bit, he tried to open his eyes but found himself unable for a minute, the light from the ceiling too bright and his eyelids too heavy still. 

He blinked a few times, trying to shake the sleep off and get slowly accustomed to the light, the blurriness of his mind starting to dissipate too. He felt the desire to stretch his muscles, but when he finally opened his eyes completely and was able to focus on what was in front of him, every reflex to move left his body immediately, only his heart jumping strongly inside his chest.

He hadn’t been ready to have Jihoon’s sleeping face be the first thing he saw after waking up and he might have as well been bewitched by the sight, his eyes glued, unable to look away. This wasn’t the first time he saw Jihoon’s sleeping face, but it was definitely the first time he got to see it up close and it was hard to focus on anything else; Jihoon’s eyes were closed, his eyebrows relaxed and lips slightly open, he looked peaceful, and Soonyoung, who hadn’t been able to shake the sleep entirely off his body, could do no more than admiring the other’s beauty.

He felt an itch on his hand, the sudden desire to reach out and take the bangs out of Jihoon’s face, to feel his lashes against his fingertips and make his way down slowly, caressing his cheek and finally getting to brush slightly against his pretty lips. He traced the path with his eyes, managing somehow to keep his self-control in check.

He shuddered lightly, suddenly aware of how his eyes were fixed on Jihoon’s lips, a muffled part of his conscious self trying to warn him, he was heading deep down into dangerous territory and needed to get a grip, whatever his just half-awake mind was thinking of wasn’t good. There was no point anyway, letting himself dwell on the attraction he felt for Jihoon, and the fastest he could stop, the better. 

_“It’s probably already too late,”_ the thought had materialized in his mind out of nowhere, but whether it was too late to stop the dangerous thread of thought his mind wanted so desperately to sink into at the moment – _would Jihoon’s skin be as soft as it looks? Would his lips feel rough against his own?_ – or too late to stop the overall attraction he felt for the spirit, was something Soonyoung wasn’t ready to face, so instead of trying to figure it out, he decided to focus only on Jihoon. His worry could be a problem for future and completely awake Soonyoung, all he wanted to do right now was keep on admiring the sight in front of him. Jihoon’s messy hair, his seemingly soft skin, the calm pattern of his breathing.

It was with the slowest flutter of eyelashes that Jihoon finally started to open his eyes, not being able to focus on anything at first. Soonyoung looked silently, a slight discomfort starting to settle rather heavily on his stomach. He saw Jihoon move his shoulders, probably to try and soothe the stiffness from his body after having slept on the hard floor and Soonyoung wasn’t sure in which exact moment he had become painfully aware of how one of Jihoon’s hands was still tightly locked in with his own, and he feared for a second what could be Jihoon’s reaction when he finally realized their current position. 

He heard a low mutter coming from Jihoon right before he finally focused his eyes on Soonyoung’s, the seconds right after were tense in a way Soonyoung had never experienced before, Jihoon’s entire face starting to furrow in what was probably confusion.

“Jihoo–” Soonyoung wasn’t completely sure of what he was trying to say to Jihoon, but he felt the need to _say something_. He wanted nothing more than for the frown in Jihoon’s eyebrows to disappear. He had, however, no time to even wonder what to say, a loud and high shriek coming from the entrance of the room interrupting his words and startling them both, rendering Soonyoung completely speechless. 

It was the harsh feeling of Jihoon finally letting go of his hand that took him out of his support just seconds before, both of them sitting at the same time. Soonyoung’s eyes immediately going towards the door. He failed to notice the dark blush on Jihoon’s ears.

“Soonyoung?” It was Jun and the look on his face was enough for Soonyoung to feel mortified. “What are you doing here?”

“W–, we came to dance,” That had sounded way more awkward than Soonyoung expected, and the shift in the expression on Jun’s face let him know that he hadn’t completely believed him. Soonyoung wanted nothing more than run home and crawl under his blanket. 

“Well,” said Jun, one of his eyebrows rising and a playful smile spreading on his lips, “I sure as hell hope you did, this is my favorite practice room after all,” there was a hidden implication in Jun’s words, Soonyoung felt his face warm up with embarrassment, his eyes going briefly towards Jihoon; there was a scowl on his face and Soonyoung wasn’t surprised at all.

“Sooo…” started once more Jun, the teasing tone never leaving his voice, “aren’t you going to introduce us?”

“Oh?” Soonyoung scratched his head, looking between Jun and Jihoon, trying to come fast with a credible explanation for Jihoon’s identity, surely convinced that ‘the spirit from the shrine I visited the other day’ wouldn’t be easily accepted.   
“So?”

“Yeah, Jun, look, this is Jihoon, my… new roommate,” It wasn’t a lie. In a way, Jihoon was seriously his roommate. Whatever the circumstances that had landed them together, or whether they were normal or not, Jun didn’t have to know, at least not just yet. Not when he felt his mind was still slightly clouded, probably by the lack of a proper night’s sleep, not when he hadn’t even discussed it with Jihoon if it was okay to talk about their current situation. There were just too many reasons he could think for not telling the complete truth, and if Jun had realized that’s what he had been doing, he hadn’t dared comment on it.

Soonyoung saw how Jun’s eyebrows moved, he looked like he wanted to say something, but before he could, Soonyoung spoke again, addressing Jihoon this time. “And this is Junhui, he is my partner.”

“Business partner, nothing to worry about,” Jun’s eyes were focused on Jihoon this time, but Soonyoung didn’t dare look at the spirit, too busy looking the other way in an attempt to hide the blush Jun’s words had caused him. 

“Not my problem,” Said Jihoon. His voice sounded kind of cold and Soonyoung didn’t know how to feel about it. There was a slight disappointment he knew he shouldn’t be feeling, like a low hum inside of him, but he tried his best to ignore it, turning to look at Jun once more.

“Okay, if you say so. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Jihoon’s voice didn’t have a single tint of friendliness on it, but Jun looked amused by it, his eyes going to meet Soonyoung’s, a mischievous smile subtly spread on his lips.

“I guess we’ll talk later, we have soooo much to discuss,” Jun winked at him before going out of the practice room and making his way down the hall, a loud “see ya!” Was all that could be heard after. Soonyoung groaned, already dreading whatever conversation Jun felt he owed him now. 

“Your friend seems annoying.”

Soonyoung laughed at that, finally allowing himself to look at Jihoon directly.

“He’s not that bad.”

Jihoon furrowed his mouth as a way of expressing his disbelief and there was something so endearing about it, right there in the frown on his eyebrows and the way his messy hair stuck out in different directions, that funny contrast he was getting used to seeing every morning. He felt a warm feeling tingling inside of him, the sudden realization of how silly he had been, trying so hard to not get attached to Jihoon when it was so obviously a lost cause. If he suffered for it later, when the other had to inevitably leave, he would deal with it then. 

A faint sigh found his way out through his lips, followed by a small smile. He was reaching his hand out to fix a messy strand of hair on Jihoon before he could even think about it but, the moment his hand touched Jihoon’s hair, the spirit tossed his head to the side, as if to avoid the touch, and stood up hurriedly. Soonyoung was left sitting on the floor, confused and with his hand still mid-air.

“I’m starving,” said Jihoon.

Soonyoung blinked a few times before finally standing up, looking at Jihoon who was looking at himself on one of the mirrors on the walls, trying to make his hair presentable. He tried to convince himself that what had happened just seconds before had probably just been his imagination. There was no way Jihoon had avoided his touch on purpose, right?

“Let’s go have breakfast,” Soonyoung forced a smile through the unsettling feeling on his chest. Jihoon nodded but didn’t really meet his eyes. And Soonyoung, although wanting to believe there was nothing wrong, didn’t know how to shake the doubt from his mind.

…

They ended up at a coffee shop close to Soonyoung’s studio, a variety of baked goods in between them and a stiff silence uncomfortably set around.

Soonyoung was sipping slowly from his coffee, looking at Jihoon stick a piece of bread into his mouth, eyes stubbornly fixed down. Soonyoung was at a loss, why had things turned so awkward so suddenly? He had thought things were okay, actually, he had thought that, after having spent the night dancing and having fun together, things were great. But now, no matter how he looked at it, it seemed like there was something bothering Jihoon. He wanted to desperately ask about it but there was something stopping him from it. What if he was looking too much into things? Maybe Jihoon was just… embarrassed? He had opened up a bit after all and having into account how reserved he usually was, Soonyoung probably didn’t have any reason to be worried.

He sighed, trying to convince himself everything was fine, but the uncomfortable atmosphere was growing more and more unbearable by the second and he wasn’t sure he could stand it any longer. He had to ask, if it was all on his mind, great! And if there was something really wrong, well, then, at least he would know and could try to solve whatever it was.

“Jihoon,” He started, the hesitation in his voice undeniable. Jihoon looked up at him, meeting his eyes for a second and lowering his gaze once more to look at the croissant in front of him, taking a piece and sticking it into his mouth.

“Is everything okay?” Continued Soonyoung after Jihoon hummed briefly to let him know he was listening.

Jihoon swallowed. 

“Everything’s okay,” he said, his eyes fixed down still.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Jihoon finally met his eyes again and Soonyoung thought with relief that, maybe, it had been his imagination after all. He smiled, sweet and small, and Jihoon had immediately dropped his gaze again. Soonyoung didn’t know what to do with the uneasy feeling in his chest anymore. He tried to trust Jihoon’s words, if the spirit said there was nothing wrong then it must mean that there was nothing wrong. However, the intrusive thought telling him the opposite was too insistent, too demanding, and he couldn’t just ignore it. So, in an attempt to prove to himself that everything was really okay, to try just a little bit to set his heart at peace once more, he decided to reach his hand slowly towards Jihoon’s one resting on the table opposite him.

He moved his hand slowly but with clear intent, stopping just a few centimeters short, his heart skipping a bit with doubt. He breathed softly, trying to appease his nerves, and closed the gap, slightly brushing his fingers against Jihoon’s. 

Jihoon didn’t move his hand immediately after, and Soonyoung thought, with his heart feeling lighter already, that everything was alright after all. The feeling didn’t last long though, after a few seconds Jihoon finally removed his hand from the table, resting it on his thigh instead. 

Soonyoung’s heart beat with dread, his hand left stretched out on the table, awkwardly alone. He retrieved it as the heavy feeling from before made his way back into his chest, the knowledge that there was something wrong but Jihoon’t wasn’t going to tell him making it feel stronger. 

He went back to silently sipping from his coffee, not knowing what else to do or to say, not even daring looking at Jihoon, too afraid of what he could see in the other’s expression.

He missed Jihoon’s red ears and his shy and confused eyes.

…

If asked, Soonyoung wouldn’t know how to describe the days following the night they spent together at his dance studio. He guessed that, from an outsider’s point of view – not that there were any real outsiders to get the wrong impression, but still – everything would have seemed pretty normal. Although silence was prominent between them, they still ate together everyday, watched tv together sometimes, and had even gone grocery shopping once. Things weren’t that different but there was something fragile surrounding them, like a bubble waiting to be pinched.

It was frustrating for Soonyoung, trying so hard to decipher where everything had gone so wrong with no significant success. He had tried to talk to Jihoon, but it was hard getting the other to engage in conversation, he wouldn’t even meet Soonyoung’s eyes. There was no way Jihoon would humor any of his questions with an answer, and the mere thought of it made his heart clench painfully in his chest.

He sighed, tired and long, one of his hands rested heavily on the table in front, chopstick untouched by the side of his warm plate of food. He didn’t feel like eating at all when Jihoon was sitting right next to him digging into his own food as if everything were perfect. The silence was tortuous and Soonyoung was dying to break it but he couldn’t, settling instead for looking, just observing Jihoon silently by the corner of his eyes.

Jihoon looked tired, it was impossible to not notice. He was sticking bit after bit of food into his mouth but there was something about his demeanor, about his complexion that seemed all wrong and Soonyoung wondered, with a heavy heart, if maybe it was all his fault. Was he keeping Jihoon in the human world for too long? There was always a chance he had been wrong all along and Jihoon had actually wanted to go back. He remembered the way Jihoon had passed out after coming into the human world and couldn’t help but think that, perhaps, staying so long in the human world wasn’t good for a spirit.

Soonyoung felt his stomach sink at the thought. He had been under the impression that Jihoon didn’t want to go back, he had believed that Jihoon never pressuring him to make a wish was enough proof to support his theory, but, what if it had been all just his imagination? Maybe he had been too selfish to notice the truth, watching only what he had wanted and now Jihoon resented him for it.

“Stop that,” He was taken out of his dark spiral of thoughts by Jihoon’s strained voice, he was shocked, it was probably the first time in a week that Jihoon had talked to him first.

“S– stop what?” He stuttered, too nervous to control his voice properly.

“You’re staring at me,” Jihoon answered, his voice somehow cold and his eyes never coming to meet Soonyoung’s.

Soonyoung was surprised to realize that he was, indeed, staring at Jihoon. He hadn’t been aware, too lost in his thoughts. He felt his heart clench and inhaled heavily to try and ease the ugly feeling that was starting to pool in his stomach. It was no use, Jihoon wouldn’t meet his eyes and he found himself unable to shake his distress. 

Soonyoung sighed, feeling troubled. He knew this was his chance to finally voice his concerns, his worries. He had so many questions and he wouldn’t find a better time to get answers. He needed to know. If whatever had happened was his fault he needed to know. How could he solve it if not? If he was hurting Jihoon by selfishly assuming the other didn’t want to leave, then he needed to know. He couldn’t bear the idea of the other resenting him.

But how could he? How could he seek answers when he was so afraid of them? He wanted to tell Jihoon what was on his mind, but he couldn’t, so he didn’t.

“I was just,” Soonyoung’s voice was low, the bitter thought that he was being a coward intensifying with every word spoken. “I mean, I didn’t mean to stare, I was just surprised by how much you’re eating.”

“If it bothers you so much you know how to get rid of me.”

Jihoon kept on eating, completely unaware of how Soonyoung’s heart was being ripped apart slowly, an ugly and painful feeling blowing through him, a tight and suffocating knot forming in his throat. It seemed like he hadn’t had to ask to get the answers he was so afraid to get, it was clear to him, by the way Jihoon’s words had come out, that he had been right. Jihoon most likely wanted to go already and Soonyoung, although he didn’t mean to hurt the other, had kept him in this foreign world, naive enough to think that they were getting closer, that Jihoon enjoyed his company as much as he did Jihoon’s and that it was somehow enough to justify the big delay. He had been such an idiot.

“I c– could wish for you to be gone.” Soonyoung’s words were spoken with difficulty, muffled by the ever-growing knot in his throat. He had meant to voice his words as a question, all he wanted was for Jihoon to know that he was willing to give his wish away, if Jihoon really wanted to go he would set him free but in his haze, he had failed to express this, his words had come out all wrong, hurtful even, and he saw helplessly as Jihoon’s empty expression broke, crumpling into something sad and painful. Soonyoung heart broke along.

“Wait, Jihoon, that’s not what–,” he was cut short by Jihoon finally looking his way, his eyes filled with hurt so evident that Soonyoung’s words dissipated on the tip of his tongue, all of it replaced by an intense desire to reach out, to take Jihoon’s hand on his own, feel the soft skin of his cheeks, hold him tight and kiss his pain away.

“It’s your wish. If that’s what you wa–” Jihoon’s voice came out broken and low, his words eventually getting stuck, it looked like he found himself unable to articulate anymore. Soonyoung looked at him, the way he was trying to collect himself, trying to disguise his real feelings the way he was so good at. He saw the other take a deep breath, making a big effort to not let his emotions show anymore. “Say it clearly and I’ll be gone in a second.”

“That’s not it! I would never wish for you to be gone unless you wanted to, if that’s what you want then I’ll do it.”

“Who cares what I want? It’s your wish.”

Jihoon threw his chopsticks roughly on the table and stood up quickly, turning to leave, but Soonyoung couldn’t let him go, he didn’t want to let him go. He hadn’t been able to convey his real feelings and he couldn’t let the misunderstanding unsolved. 

“I do! I care about you Jihoon!” 

Soonyoung stood up fast, tipping his beverage over and making a huge mess but caring only about Jihoon hurriedly making his way towards his room. He followed the other, taking him by the arm and making him stop. The expression on Jihoon’s face as he harshly shook Soonyoung’s hand away was too hard to read for Soonyoung. There was something there, in his eyes, in the way his eyebrows knit together, in his tightly pressed lips and Soonyoung was desperate to understand. He found himself wishing Jihoon would do that thing, the one when he couldn’t control his emotion; those times in which Soonyoung knew exactly how the other felt.

“Why?”

Jihoon’s voice was but a mere whisper, and Soonyoung’s mind provided an answer so fast and with such strong determination that he didn’t know how to deal with it. The sudden realization was too big, he couldn’t speak it into reality, he couldn’t tell Jihoon.

_‘Because I like you.’_

He looked at Jihoon, who had turned his back to face him, his head hanging low and his shoulders slumped, the sad silhouette causing Soonyoung’s heart to ache.

“Would you rather I didn’t?” He said finally, instead of what was really on his mind.

“Just… just leave me alone Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung stayed there, rooted, looking sadly at Jihoon’s shaking figure as he walked into his room and closed the door hard behind him. And Soonyoung’s heart might have been as well in between the door and the door frame and the crushing pain wouldn’t have been as bad as what he was feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was... sad? I'm sorry :(
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope it was enjoyable! The draft for next chapter is ready, I just need to find the time to make all the corrections and the proof reading and so.
> 
> Also, guess who's super bad at time management and couldn't finish her howoonderland fest entry on time?? Yes, I'm guilty, totally need to improve on that, ughh
> 
> Anyways, thank you once more for reading and take care! <3


	6. Chapter 6

Three days.

Three long and tension-filled days since his fight with Jihoon. Three dull and dreary days since they had last spoken to each other – If that last awful interaction could even be counted as speaking to each other at all.

Soonyoung felt miserable.

He hated waking up every morning and not getting to see Jihoon’s messy hair and frowny face, the endearing contrast he had already gotten used to. He hated cooking alone, turning from time to time towards JIhoon’s door with every muffled clank and chink he heard, expecting to see the door open and thinking of what to finally say to fix things. But it was mere wishful thinking; the door remained closed as he covered Jihoon’s share of the food with plastic wrap, and the words he so carefully thought of never got past his lips.

He absolutely despised the idea of these insufferable days becoming the norm.

“Wonwoo-yah, I just remembered why I had decided to give up on love. It hasn’t been that long since I met him and my heart already hurts this much,” Soonyoung’s voice was low, muffled by one of the cushions on Wonwoo’s couch. He had surprisingly found his schedule for the day cut short by some problems one of the entertainment companies they worked with had, and dreading going back to a not quite empty but extremely lonely feeling apartment, he had decided to call Wonwoo, his best friend, and was now thrown face-first into his comfy couch, trying to find comfort – not only on the soft material of the cushions but on his friend’s warm and calm aura.

“What did you said you fought about?”

“I didn’t say.” He turned to get a better look at Wonwoo, his face still dipped down into the cushion.

“How do you expect me to help if you don’t tell me?” 

Soonyoung groaned, hiding his face completely on the cushion. He felt as though there was a storm inside of him, rain pouring hard and heavy, drowning his heart, lighting threatening to break it once and for all. “You wouldn’t understand anyway,” his voice was barely audible. 

“Try me,” said Wonwoo, the concern was clear in his voice and Soonyoung couldn’t really blame him; Soonyoung was usually a bright ray of sunshine, his friend worrying for him now that the thick metaphorical storm clouds were shadowing him was expected. 

“I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

Wonwoo let out a drawn-out sigh before speaking, “How is it that you’re so infatuated with a roommate I didn't even know existed?”

“Because I’m an idiot,” Wonwoo laughed at that, and Soonyoung, feigning being offended, finally raised himself from where he had been hiding his face on the cushion to glare at him, “Yah! You should at least deny it!” 

“Can’t deny the truth,” Wonwoo raised his shoulder, a smug expression on his face. Soonyoung tried to glare at him longer but eventually, a short giggle made its way out followed by a deep breath and a weary sigh.

“I’m really am an idiot Wonwoo, he told me from the beginning that he had no intention of getting involved with me in any way. I was also aware that this arrangement we have is not long term, he will be gone sooner or later. I knew, but I couldn’t really help it. No matter how many times I tried telling myself that it was pointless I kept on being drawn to him once and again.”

“That’s just how it works, love isn’t rational. You can’t decide this kind of thing, it just happens and is not your fault.”

Soonyoung pouted, “I still feel like an idiot though.”

“Who said you aren’t?” Soonyoung furrowed his lips and Wonwoo laughed, a cushion hitting his face mid-laugh causing his glasses to fall off his face. He blinked a few times, startled by the hit, and an endearing smile spread on his face when Soonyoung’s laugh was heard, big and loud. It was a good sound. 

“I hate you,” said Soonyoung with a grunt, but Wonwoo just smiled softly at him.

“I know you love me, you can’t lie to me.”

“I’m a terrible liar anyway, don’t feel too special.”

…

Soonyoung got out of the elevator on his apartment floor, raising his hand slightly to look at his watch. It was way past midnight. He sighed, not feeling any better after having tried to drown all of his sorrows in ice cream and junk food at Wonwoo’s. He walked slowly towards his door, wondering if Jihoon was still awake. Going to Wonwoo’s had been an impulsive decision, and he hadn’t had any way of letting the spirit know he would be arriving late. 

_“Not like Jihoon cares anyway,”_ thought Soonyoung bitterly.

He walked to his door, stopping for a second when he was right outside, a sudden and strong sense of deja vu overcoming him. The first thing he noted was the low and melancholic sounding guitar melody coming from inside. He tried focusing on the sound and then, very slowly but somehow steadily, he started to feel it, a foreign feeling setting in his chest.

Soonyoung was surprised at first. Not by the occurrence, he had gotten to experience the strange projection of feelings before and had expected it the moment he heard the music, it was rather the nature of what he was feeling that had him startled for a second. His heart beating hard with the implications he was desperately trying not to read into.

He breathed, harshly somehow, too surprised by the worry and confusion he felt slowly growing inside of him. It was too different from anything else he had felt from Jihoon before and he was having trouble understanding. Jihoon was conflicted, troubled, confused, Soonyoung felt it almost as his own, he knew the feeling too well, the same internal fight he had had so many times with himself, trying so hard to keep Jihoon out of his thoughts, out of his heart. The mere idea of him being the cause of Jihoon’s confusion made his stomach twist, if it were true, if Jihoon was really feeling that way because of him… The revelation felt too huge to even consider, but it was there, and it had to mean something. There was also worry, as a soft shadow somewhere, and it was so easy to let himself believe that maybe, even if the possibility was tiny, Jihoon was worried about him.

_“Don’t be an idiot Kwon Soonyoung, don’t get carried away!”_ He let out a weary sigh, moving an anxious and shaky hand to press the code, his heart in his throat, nervous at the sight that would welcome him in.

He opened the door slowly and closed it as slowly behind him, the soft guitar melody clearer now but no leaves flying around in sight like last time. He took his shoes off, walking cautiously into the living room, his eyes going immediately towards Jihoon’s figure, his silhouette shadowed by the darkness of the room but his face lowly lit by the moonlight outside. He was sitting on the windowsill, as Soonyoung had come to expect, guitar in hands, eyes softly closed as he hummed along to the melody. There was a petal rain outside, some of them slowly finding their way into the living room and into Jihoon’s hair. The sight was breathtaking, almost overwhelmingly so, especially now that he had come to terms with his attraction for the spirit.

“Jihoon…”

He was looking carefully at Jihoon who froze the moment he heard his name being called. It was almost as if a spell had been broken, the music gone as well as the worry and confusion Soonyoung knew had never been his own, the last of the petals outside disappearing from view as they fell softly to the ground.

Jihoon opened his eyes and looked straight into Soonyoung’s, his expression morphed into a relieved one, and Soonyoung, with a flood of feelings threatening to finally overflow his senses, wanted so hard to allow himself to believe that Jihoon had been worried about him. He wanted to go as far as believing that Jihoon was happy to see him, but how could he? He was too afraid of being let down by his incessant wishful thinking.

“Soonyoung…” Jihoon’s voice was low, a little broken, and Soonyoung’s heart shrank, Jihoon looked so fragile.

“You seriously shouldn’t sit there Jihoon, it’s dangerous,” Soonyoung was trying to stay calm, trying hard to hide and placate the storm inside of him, but the desire to get closer to the other was too big and was pulling him in harder than anything else; he wanted to reach out for Jihoon, take the petals off his hair, hold his hand softly, tangle their fingers and…

He couldn’t. He couldn’t let his thoughts get carried away, he needed to get a hold of himself before he ended up doing something crazy and further damaged things between them. It was painful enough as it was, he couldn’t throw away the chance to try and fix things. He had to stop, his self-control was wavering but he needed to remain strong.

He looked at Jihoon, who furrowed his eyebrows slightly, slowly putting the guitar aside and standing up; his eyes never losing sight of Soonyoung, and the latter could do nothing more than notice how pale and lost the spirit looked, he could swear his hands were shaking.

“Soonyoung… I’m sorry…” His voice was still low, hesitation audible with every syllable he pronounced. Soonyoung felt his heart contract violently.

“Jihoonie… I’m sorry too,” they looked at each other in silence for a painfully long minute until Jihoon’s stare faltered, his eyes fixed down for a second until they went back up to meet Soonyoung’s once more, Jihoon’s desire to speak was clear, but it seemed like every word was trapped in by heavy doubt. Soonyoung looked at him carefully, his expression, the way his lips parted slightly and were then pressed tightly together, the way his eyes wandered around the room, his eyebrows subtly shaking; he was trying, struggling even, to get his words out but was unable to. It was a warming sight somehow, seeing Jihoon trying to maybe amend things, and Soonyoung, with his heart in his throat, was finally able to find the courage necessary to get closer to the other, his voice soft when he spoke again.

“Jihoon,” Soonyoung was standing right in front of him now, a small and shy smile formed on his lips as his heart accelerated, it almost felt as if it could explode any moment now, full with a mix of hope and anxiousness. “Were you worried about me?”

Jihoon looked away, his ears going impossibly red, and Soonyoung decided right there he didn’t care if he was let down, be it wishful thinking or something else, he would deal with it later. He had arrived way too late and Jihoon, even if he had been ignoring him for 3 days now, had been worried. Jihoon, who didn’t like humans, who had been straightforward and had told him he had no intention whatsoever of getting involved with him, had a conflict inside, he was confused, and Soonyoung was the cause, he allowed himself to believe this.

“Maybe,” answered Jihoon, avoiding meeting Soonyoung’s eyes still, his cheeks getting the loveliest tint of pink. Soonyoung was ecstatic. That maybe had sounded so much like a ‘yes’.

“I’m home now, sorry I took so long,” Jihoon looked at him finally, and Soonyoung didn’t have time to think before his hand was reaching out, finding his place in Jihoon’s cheek.

Soonyoung held his breath for a second, expecting Jihoon to shake his hand off him, but the other didn’t move, a soft gaze focused on Soonyoung’s face. Jihoon’s skin felt unusually cold under Soonyoung’s fingers, and from this close, he could now see the deep dark circles under his eyes; the worry in his chest was all his own this time around.

“Jihoon, are you okay?”

Jihoon’s eyes wavered for a bit, it was clear he wanted to say something but before he could, his legs gave up under him. Soonyoung’s mind went blank for a second, no thoughts as he reacted to catch Jihoon, both of them sitting down on the floor as a result. Soonyoung’s hold was tight around Jihoon’s waist, his mind slowly catching up with what had happened as he felt jihoon’s heavy breathing on his shoulder.

“What’s wrong? Jihoon, what’s wrong?” Soonyoung’s voice came out desperate. Afraid. 

“It’s too hard,” Jihoon’s own voice muffled by Soonyoung’s shoulder.

“What is it?”

“Being in the human world is too hard.”

It sounded like Jihoon had trouble making his words come out and Soonyoung felt helpless as he felt his heart drop to his stomach. He raised one of his hands slowly to caress Jihoon’s back, trying to somehow comfort the other and, at the same time, comfort himself. “What can I do to help you feel better? Food? I’ll get you anything, tell me.”

“Just…” started Jihoon, pausing for a bit, and Soonyoung could tell he was unsure, trying hard to find the words, breathing with doubt heavy in every exhale. Soonyoung tightened his hold on the spirit, and Jihoon finally spoke, it was almost like a breath, but Soonyoung caught it, and his heart suddenly felt too tight in his chest. “Stay like this, please.”

Soonyoung swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the knot slowly forming in his throat. Jihoon sounded so vulnerable, so tired, he felt so fragile in his arms. There was no way he was going to let go of Jihoon, he was going to hold on to him until the other pushed him away once and for all.

“Jihoonie, I’ll hold you in my arms forever if you let me.” He felt his face get warm at his own words, he had had no time to stop his honest thoughts from coming out. He felt Jihoon holding his shirt strongly, his face pressing hard into his neck, and Soonyoung wondered if he made Jihoon’s heart as uncontrollable as Jihoon made his own feel.

“We should really move though.”

“Don’t wanna.”

Soonyoung smiled softly, trying to look at Jihoon’s face tightly tucked into his neck, he wanted nothing more than lean a bit and place a soft kiss on Jihoon’s temple, but he couldn’t try his luck that way. He dragged a soft breath through his nose. “Just to the couch, hold on to me.”

Jihoon was reluctant to move but did anyway, putting his hands around Soonyoung’s neck tightly and letting the other carry him to the couch.

Soonyoung sat on the couch and rested Jihoon on his lap. They stayed like that for a while, holding each other in silence, Jihoon’s arms wrapped tightly around Soonyoung and his face pressed in his neck, but the slowing pattern of his breathing wasn’t enough to stop Soonyoung’s mind from wandering, going crazy with the thoughts suddenly materializing. He hadn’t meant to, but he inevitably found himself sinking into the same scary path of thoughts he had back in his fight with Jihoon. He felt a dark and depressing feeling drowning him, it was guilt. This was all his fault.

“This is my fault,” he said, chocked with the knot in his throat, “I kept you here for too long, I’m sorry Jihoon.”

Jihoon breathed hard into Soonyoung’s neck before speaking, voice stifled and low against Soonyoung’s skin.

“I don’t want to go back yet.”

Soonyoung’s fingers grabbed hardly on to Jihoon’s shirt, his warm breath against his skin sending shivers through his body and his words making his heart lose his pattern, heartbeats going up with surprising strength and air momentarily getting stuck inside. _Jihoon didn’t want to go._ He didn’t want to go and Soonyoung couldn’t even bring himself to care about the reason – not that he didn’t want to be the reason himself, but he had already self-indulged enough for a night, all that mattered right now was that Jihoon didn’t want to go, and Soonyoung definitely didn’t want him to go either. Just the fact made him feel a little bit lighter, though not enough to discard all of his worries just yet.

“I don’t want you to go either, Jihoon, but I don’t want you to suffer like this.”

“I won’t.” 

Soonyoung breathed deeply before moving to press his face in Jihoon’s neck too, hugging the spirit even tighter to him. He wanted to say something, he felt something intense buzzing inside of him, wanting to be set free, but he couldn’t find the words to properly express it, so he nuzzled harder into Jihoon’s neck instead, one of his hand caressing the other’s back gently. He felt Jihoon’s soft breath against his skin slowly become deeper, relaxed, his arms around his neck still tight, and there was nothing that could have stopped him from forming his resolve, he decided, probably foolishly, that he was going to make the most out of his time with Jihoon. If he ended up giving too much of his heart, if his feelings grew so much they ended up ripping his ribcage apart to scape his body, he wouldn’t care. He would let himself feel, and he was sure that it was going to be worth it. No matter the outcome, even having his heart broken, shattered to millions of pieces unable to be fixed ever again, it would be worth it. If only he could hold Jihoon like this some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I procrastinated this SO MUCH ughh I hope you enjoyed it anyways. I think things are still a little bit sad but it can't be helped :( but we will figure some things out in next chapter! I hope you're liking it this far and thank you so much for reading! I'm over making promises as to how long it will take me to update 'cause it has been proved once more that I absolutely suck at time management OTL I'll try my best regardless! 
> 
> Are you guys excited for Seventeen's concert? 'Cause I have to be honest, I almost cried when they announced it and it wasn't because of how happy I was but because they did me SO DIRTY, lol I'm still not over it. BTOB 4u announced their concert for the exact same day back on November and I bought a ticket almost a month ago and I can't possibly watch two concerts at once, can I?? 🙃 What I hate the most is how tempted I am to buy a ticket anyway but I would just end up not enjoying any of the concerts and I just– how is it that I stan only two groups and this happened to me?? I'm heartbroken– I've been anticipating a Seventeen online concert for months 😭 what do you think I should do? Wait for the vod or maybe even a dvd? or just try to watch two concerts at once? 🤡
> 
> wow, I'm usually really bad with words but I'm so frustrated with this concert issue I ended up writing a very long end note, sorry for venting! 
> 
> Anyway, to finish I just wanted to say: Happy new year! Last year was definitely crazy and not the best, and although this year didn't start in the best way possible I hope it gets better for everyone, I'm sending you my best wishes, lots of hugs and love! 
> 
> As always, take care and stay safe! Thank you once more for reading it's greatly appreciated! ❤️❤️❤️


	7. Chapter 7

Soonyoung woke up slowly, a pleasant ray of sunlight on his face and a slight tickle on his nose. He felt good and secure like he was right where he belonged. He opened his eyes, slightly trembling eyelids and was met with Jihoon’s own eyes. His gaze soft, warm, tranquil. 

And it was too early. Too early for his heart to beat so hard, too early for the heat to reach his cheeks, too early for his lips to curl into a sweet smile, but how could he not when the first thing he saw was Jihoon’s messy hair, his soft and pink cheeks, his pretty lips. Jihoon’s calm expression. 

He felt happy. And he didn’t even bother trying to push the thought away, there was no point to it anymore.

“Good morning,” said Soonyoung, his voice low and sweet, and anyone would have been able to tell just by the tone that there was a smile on his face. 

“Good morning,” said Jihoon, slowly getting up from on top of Soonyoung. 

And even if his back hurt after sleeping on the couch, even if his limbs felt numb, there was nothing Soonyoung wanted more than take Jihoon’s hand and pull him against his chest again. 

So he did. 

Before Jihoon could totally get up, he took his wrist gently and brought the other to his chest once more, arms tangling softly around the spirit’s body. 

“Soonyoung...” it had been voiced as a complaint, but there was no real intent behind it, so Soonyoung tightened his arms around the other, pressing his face in Jihoon’s hair, happily enjoying this one in a million chance. 

“Just five more minutes Jihoonie, please.” It was the weekend after all, no need to rush to get up.

Jihoon didn’t say anything at first, just laying awkwardly tense on top of Soonyoung, and the latter worried that he might have overstepped the spirit’s boundaries a little. After a minute, however, Jihoon spoke, a low and breathy whisper.

“Okay.”

Soonyoung smiled, content, and without even realizing it, five minutes turned into two hours. 

The second time they woke up wasn’t as pleasant as the first, both extremely hungry and sore, it was already lunchtime by then and Soonyoung had missed this, cooking and eating together, being comfortable with each other, joking and laughing, it felt like a dream.

“You look a lot better now, Jihoonie,” said Soonyoung, sitting next to Jihoon, warm plate of food in front.

“I’m am…” there was a pause, and Soonyoung looked at Jihoon, interested, “thanks to you,” finished the spirit and proceeded to put a spoonful of rice into his mouth. 

Soonyoung’s heart skipped a beat, and he wasn’t surprised anymore by the reaction, Jihoon had a very big effect on him.

“I did nothing though,” Soonyoung was honest, he hadn’t done anything to help Jihoon feel better, he had felt so helpless at the moment, seeing the spirit look so weak, shaky limbs and cold skin, it had scared him. “All I did was hold you in my arms _aaaaall_ night, but I mean, I won’t complain if what it takes to help you is a tight and long hug, I’ll do it any day.” He said, clearly intending to tease Jihoon, playful tone and smile, but there was not a single lie in his words, he would hold Jihoon every day in his arms if allowed. 

He expected Jihoon to roll his eyes and maybe curse at him, but his reaction was totally different, his entire face went red, color bright and intense, and it was good there was no food in his mouth at the moment because he looked like he had chocked on air, his intense glare suddenly directed towards Soonyoung.

“I’ll rather die t-than letting you touch me again, fuck you.” The curse was expected, but the cute stutter was what caught Soonyoung’s attention, and he couldn’t even hate himself for allowing Jihoon to take another tiny part of his heart. If this kept going it wouldn’t take long until Jihoon owned his entire heart, how dangerous, and how surprisingly willing to let it happen was Soonyoung.

“Jihoon, you don’t mean that,” there was a smile on Soonyoung’s face, his voice incredibly calm and steady for such a fluttering heart. Jihoon looked at him, a slight frown in place.

“I don’t,” he said as if it were the most unimportant thing ever, composed voice, sticking another spoonful of food into his mouth right after. Soonyoung would have believed saying those words didn’t affect Jihoon at all, if it weren’t for the slight shift of expression on his face, his eyes opening wide for a fraction of a second before going down to look at his food pretending nonchalance.

They hadn’t spoken to each other for three days, and Soonyoung just wasn’t ready for this, maybe Jihoon hated him after all and was trying to kill him once and for all. There was no way he could survive such a huge declaration. 

He looked at Jihoon in awe, mouth open, feeling words tickle his tongue, but too breathless to speak. 

_“I like you. I like you. I like you so much.”_ His thoughts a clear representation of the sound of every single beat of his heart. 

“I could hug you right now,” finally said Soonyoung, and Jihoon scrunched his nose trying to stop a smile from forming on his face.

“You’re so clingy.”

Soonyoung smiled. “And you don’t really mind.”

There was a moment of silence, only chewing sounds heard, and Soonyoung’s mind took the chance to wander. He swallowed the food he had in his mouth and looked at Jihoon while breathing a little bit deeper than normal.

“Jihoon, I’m really glad you’re fine,” a pause, a hesitant look, a wavering smile. His voice when he spoke again was but a mere whisper, “I was really scared,” The words felt like a confession when they left his mouth.

Jihoon turned to look at him, something like an apologetic look on his face, “I’m sorry Soonyoung,” Jihoon reached out a hand and rested it in the table next to Soonyoung’s, there was a little shake, a movement full of doubt, a slight brush of fingers, and Soonyoung didn’t wait anymore. He put his hand on top of Jihoon’s deciding to close the gap himself. 

“It’s my fault,” finally said Jihoon, his eyes dropping. 

“It’s not your fault,” Soonyoung’s voice shook a little, a guilty feeling twisting his stomach, “it’s my fault for keeping you here.”

Jihoon turned the hand under Soonyoung’s up and intertwined their fingers. Soonyoung was able to find comfort in the gesture.

“You’re not keeping me here against my will.”

Jihoon’s words, although spoken lowly, didn’t have an ounce of hesitation, his voice firm and steady, eyes focusing on Soonyoung’s, and even though Soonyoung knew this fact, he still felt something akin to relief listening to Jihoon say it out loud.

“Even if I’m not keeping you here against your will, I’m afraid I won’t find anything to wish for, I-…”

_“I’m afraid the only wish I’ll have is for you to stay,”_ the words were clear in his mind, but he didn’t have the courage to speak them, his throat too tight with the beat of his heart to force them out. 

“I’ll wait for you.” Jihoon’s words had been so low and tiny Soonyoung almost missed them, but he didn’t, and although his heart was beating loud with joy, his mind was heavy with worry.

“What if it happens again? I don’t want you to suffer,” Jihoon’s eyes were still focused only on Soonyoung, an expression in his face Soonyoung didn’t want to decipher, didn’t want to look into, too afraid of mistaking the emotion, but by the moment he tried to stop himself, it was already too late to see it as anything else but fondness. “I don’t want you to go, but I don’t want you to suffer.”

Jihoon tried covering his expression with his free hand, his face scrunching and a low and muffled grunt coming out of his lips, it was an interesting an unexpected reaction, and Soonyoung couldn’t help but look intently at him.

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon started, dropping the hand covering his face and resting it heavily on his own thigh, “I won’t suffer, not even if I stay for a long time–” there was a brief pause, Jihoon breathed deeply before continuing, “when I said I was okay thanks to you, those weren’t empty words, it was the truth.”

Soonyoung tilted his head, confused, “what does that even mean? I’m sure I did nothing, I wanted to help you but–” Jihoon squeezed his hand a bit, and the look on his face didn’t let Soonyoung continue speaking.

“Soonyoung, I’m a nature spirit–”

“That much I know.”

Jihoon glared briefly at him for interrupting, and Soonyoung bit his lips in a silent promise to keep silent meanwhile.

“As I was saying, I’m a nature spirit, and I gain energy by being surrounded by nature, this city is– is a little complicated, since there’s no plants or even animals around, and you already know this but, I’m not really fond of humans…” The last word was spoken soft and low, and although Soonyoung was listening carefully, it took him a second to process the grandness of the revelation.

“Humans?”

“I’ll be okay if you’re around.” Jihoon wasn’t looking at him anymore, his eyes fixed on a random spot in the floor, his voice had been tiny and Soonyoung was about to go mad, the feeling inside of him too intense, and it was crazy how much and how hard he was falling for Jihoon, how fast and how irreversible it seemed. 

“Jihoonie-” Soonyoung had so much he wanted to say, he wanted Jihoon to look him in the eye once more, he wanted to close every remaining distance between them and let Jihoon know that he would give him everything he had if that’s what it took for him to be okay. The thought scared him a little, the intensity of the feeling and the knowledge of it not being quite requited. He knew Jihoon liked him to some degree, he had felt Jihoon’s own feelings and had hope, but he felt helpless at the moment, longing for so much.

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon’s voice caught him by surprise, his eyes finally meeting his own again, every single one of Soonyoung’s words stuck inside. “I know I made you feel guilty, and I’m sorry, it was all my fault.”

“You’re saying-” Soonyoung was looking at Jihoon with slightly wide eyes, the realization of everything finally setting in completely, understanding coming to him, “just me being close is enough for you to be okay?” Soonyoung’s voice was soft, gentle, all the warmth he felt inside reflected on it.

Jihoon nodded, still avoiding Soonyoung’s eyes. 

“Jihoon, why did you avoid me if you knew it would be bad for you?” Soonyoung was looking carefully at Jihoon’s face and saw him opening his eyes wide in surprise at his question, only to proceed and close them tight, breathing deeply, his ears turning bright red, his cheeks pink. It was an endearing sight, but by this point, Soonyoung was sure that no matter what, he would find Jihoon lovable anyway. 

When Jihoon finally looked back at him, meeting his eyes, there was a troubled expression on his face, Soonyoung squeezed the hand he was still holding, a small smile curving his lips, trying to help Jihoon feel comfortable enough to speak.

“You confuse me so much Soonyoung, I don’t understand myself when I’m with you, and that’s– that’s… scary.”

The words shouldn’t have surprised him as much as they did. In theory, Soonyoung knew, he had felt it himself, Jihoon’s confusion. He knew the other was troubled about something, and he had made the conscious decision to believe it was about himself. But this, actually hearing vocal confirmation of that feeling being caused by him was exhilarating, Soonyoung felt hope brimming inside, warmth spreading throughout his body, his heart fluttering with new intensity.

A happy sound left his mouth, a smile bright on his face, “I was so worried, I thought you resented me,” his eyes were narrow with happiness. Jihoon furrowed his lips, remorse present in his eyes, his voice quiet but tinted with a lightness that made Soonyoung’s heart flutter.

“How could I when you have been nothing but sweet and understanding? I’m sorry you felt that way,” Jihoon’s cheeks turned red, and Soonyoung uttered a happy shriek, a hand instinctively going to press over his heart, laugh bubbling in his chest, shoulders starting to shake.

Jihoon scowled, but it was not even half as intimidating when his face was tomato red, Soonyoung looked at him and as he was about to speak, Jihoon interrupted him.

“Shut up!” 

“But I haven’t said anything yet!”

“You were about to say something embarrassing! I could see it all over your ridiculous face!”

Soonyoung took a deep breath, laugh slowly ceasing until only a big smile was left on his face, eyes narrowed and curved in fond crescents, his lips moving before his mind could catch up, “I think you like me a little Jihoon.”

Jihoon’s mouth opened in surprise, his face already impossibly red. He let go of Soonyoung’s hand hastily and his words came out kind of slurred at first, embarrassment clear in his expression. “Who would like a human like you!?”

“Don’t you mean a sweet and understanding human like me?”

“I take it back, I kind of resent you.”

Soonyoung shook his head, a smile still curling his lips. “Too late, it’s saved in my heart already.”

“You’re unbearable.”

Soonyoung giggled, and Jihoon closed his eyes tight, a sigh leaving his mouth followed by a slight smile.

They sat there for a short moment, facing each other slightly, no words spoken, a light atmosphere around them, and when Soonyoung was able to calm his breathing after the hit of happiness, he spoke again.

“Jihoon,” his voice and eyes impossibly gentle, “it’s okay, you know? Being confused and all that, you’ll be able to sort it out eventually, you don’t need to hide or run away from your feelings or…” he stopped for a second, his voice a shaky breath when he spoke again, “…from me.”

There was a complicated expression on Jihoon’s face, his eyes fixed down, his brow furrowed. Soonyoung leaned in a little, moving his fringe out of his face, prompting him to look up, and the look on Soonyoung’s face must have been reassuring for him because after a second he spoke, “I guess I’m just too used to not dealing with my feelings,” there was something strange in his tone, almost nostalgic, as if he was reminded of something.

“You should try though, and if it gets so frustrating that you want to hide and run again, just come to me,” Soonyoung scratched his head and smiled a little, “I can’t promise you I’ll help you understand, only you can do that, since it’s your feelings, but at the very least, I’ll be frustrated with you, I’ll hold your hand and help your frustration go as best as I can, you don’t have to deal with anything alone if you don’t want, ‘cause I’ll be here for you.”

“I can’t believe you sometimes.”

“I’m being honest though.”

“That’s not what I-,” Jihoon stopped abruptly, a small frown appearing on his face.

“Jihoon?”

“Thank you.”

“Uh?” Soonyoung’s breathing stopped for a second, Jihoon’s words had been spoken in the sweetest voice, his expression serious but so many silent things showing in his eyes. Soonyoung felt his heart speed once more, a deep desire to reach out and hold Jihoon, and despite trying his hardest to retain his composure, he found himself unable to stop the words from coming out, voicing his desire out loud. 

“I really want to hug you right now.”

Jihoon scrunched his nose at his words, “So clingy.”

“But you don’t really mind?” His voice was careful, so much eagerness in his eyes.

“I guess I don’t.” 

As he stood up from his chair and hurriedly wrapped his arms around Jihoon, he wondered if his actions seemed too desperate, maybe his hands were a little to tight around Jihoon, his tact too burning with feelings, his eyes to full with _something_ , and he questioned if Jihoon knew exactly what that something was, if maybe Jihoon could feel his feelings sometimes too, the way Soonyoung could feel his.

He felt Jihoon’s hands in his back, the touch soft and warm, and the possibility of Jihoon not knowing seemed too unlikely. Jihoon was probably aware of his heart, and even though he wanted nothing more than let his feelings spill, tell Jihoon just how much he had come to like him, he didn’t feel like he could put the burden of vocal confirmation on Jihoon, so before he couldn’t help himself and let it all out, he hid his face in the crook of Jihoon’s neck, lips tightly pressed against his skin, and it was enough for the moment.

He felt something tugging at his heart, and it was pleasant but concerning, the idea that maybe, even if it was really low, there was a chance that he wouldn’t get his heart broken after all. He had had little to no hope the night before, but it felt like a fire in his heart now, strong and constant, and despite it being a little scary, holding on to hope like that, there was no way to stop it, not when Jihoon’s breathing was tickling in his shoulder, his finger steady on his back, not when he felt like he had everything he wanted in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh so I'm actually surprised I managed to have this ready so fast! I really hope there's not too many mistakes, I really suck at proofreading 'cause I second guess myself a lot and that's why I usually take so long with the chapters lol I hope you liked and enjoyed this anyway! It's probably my favorite chapter so far <3 <3 things are finally not as sad anymore, right? Let's hope it keeps that way ;)
> 
> It's Seungkwan's birthday today, I wanted to make some art for him but made this instead ugh OTL 
> 
> Well, thanks so much to everyone who reads this, it means the world to me, thank you, thank you, thank you a million times! Take care and stay healthy! ❤️ Next chapter is halfway done! (No promises tho, you know, time management issues 😅)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff? Fluff ❤️

Soonyoung looked at the clock on the wall of the practice room, it was a little bit past midnight. He sighed while stretching an arm over his head, he was drenched in sweat and his limbs were starting to feel heavy.

“Good job today everyone!” He called, walking towards one of the mirrored walls where he had a water bottle and a small towel. He took the towel and put it on his head, trying to get some of the sweat off while distractedly looking around, low greetings and mutters from others in the room not reaching him anymore, his mind already far away as he drank from his water bottle.

_“I wonder if Jihoon is still awake,”_ it wasn’t a weird occurrence for Jihoon to occupy his mind, the number of thoughts that were dedicated to Jihoon were starting to make him aware of how he was growing slowly greedier every day and he didn’t quite know hot to handle it.It was a complicated feeling, wanting someone so much. He knew Jihoon needed time to figure out his internal struggle, but meanwhile, he had to try and cope somehow with the intense desire he felt to just close the distance and kiss him every single time the spirit smiled his way. 

He shook his head, embarrassed, trying to direct his mind into a different direction, far away from the dangerous territory that was Jihoon, everything about the spirit was too alluring, too pleasant and consuming. He wanted nothing more than to get lost in those dark and mysterious eyes. He sighed loudly, half frustration and half tiredness. How had he managed to fall so deep so fast? It shouldn’t make sense, but it did. 

Liking Jihoon made way too much sense.

Soonyoung walked towards the exit, feeling too tired to keep on dealing with his own thoughts. He stepped out of the room and immediately heard someone loudly clearing their throat to the side, he looked and was met by Jun’s teasing smile.

“It seems like you made up with your boyfriend.”

Soonyoung took a second to process Jun’s words, “what are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me Soonyoung, you were sulking so much last week and now you’re suddenly all bright again and,” Jun’s smile turned smug, “you’re rushing to get home, not wanting to make your sweetheart wait long.”

“Shut up, I’m just rushing home because I’m tired,” he tried to sound convincing but knew immediately it hadn’t worked. Just the warm feeling creeping up his neck was enough to know there was a betraying blush on his face.

“Come on, why don’t you just admit already that you are dating Jihoon?”

“I would, but we’re not dating, he’s just my roommate.”

“But you want to, right?”

“What exactly?”

Jun rolled his eyes, “don’t you like him? Don’t you want him to be your boyfriend? May I remind you I found you snuggling–”

“I get it!” Soonyoung’s face was on fire under Jun’s attentive look. “I do like him,” he admitted, eyes fixed down and voice low. “I like him so much but it’s complicated.”

“What’s so complicated?” The teasing tone was gone from Jun’s voice, his eyes softening as he spoke. Soonyoung saw a sweet and small smile appear on the other’s face and sighed deeply.

“I– Jihoon, he’s still figuring his feelings out, just me liking him isn’t enough,” his tongue felt heavy as he voiced his worries out loud, he knew it all too well, how his feelings alone weren’t enough, he just didn’t like to think about it.

“I got the impression he liked you though.”

Soonyoung couldn’t help but laugh at that, “you met him for like two seconds.”

“I mean, don’t take this wrong, I love you but I wouldn’t cuddle you all night on the cold floor of the practice room.”

“We weren’t cuddling!”

“I saw you both with my own two eyes!” Jun smiled, and Soonyoung smiled back.

“Believe me, I would cuddle him every night if I could, we weren’t cuddling that night.”

Jun had a fond look in his eyes when he spoke again, “I can’t believe this is the same Soonyoung who swore he didn’t want a relationship, your mom must be so happy.”

“Why would she? He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Just not yet,” Jun shrugged, and Soonyoung felt his heart accelerate at the thought.

_“Just not yet.”_

…

The wind softly messed his hair up as he hurriedly walked home from his studio. It was dark out, heavy clouds covering the sky and air humid around him. It was probably going to rain but Soonyoung couldn’t mind it at all. Not when he felt so warm inside, Jun’s words repeating in his mind, a slight expectant tingle constant in his stomach. 

_‘Just not yet.’_

It was an exciting thought.

He walked a little bit faster, hating how long the way to his apartment seemed now that he had a reason to arrive. 

_“Mom was right all along, it's really different when there’s someone waiting for you,”_ he laughed a bit at himself, it was a silly thought but he felt silly overall, walking home so fast, his fingers moving incessantly inside his pockets, the desire to arrive and see Jihoon set funnily on his stomach.

It was an irrational feeling. There was no way Jihoon would still be awake, but Soonyoung, as silly as he felt and maybe just a little tiny bit in love, couldn’t really stop himself from wanting as much. If he arrived at home and he didn’t get to see Jihoon at all, well, he still had the next morning to anticipate for.

He stopped once he found himself in front of his door, running his fingers through his hair with a swift movement to try and fix the mess left by the wind. He was being absurd but he had no time to care, a smile forming on his face as he pressed the code to get in. 

The door opened with a beep and his breath hitched as he opened it. The lights were on.

There was a happy flutter inside of him as he took his shoes off. The lights were on and maybe, he hadn’t been as irrational as he had believed.

He walked into the living room and his eyes fixed immediately on Jihoon’s comfortable figure on the couch, his smile grew, loving and bright. It had been worth it after all, hurrying to get home.

“I’m home,” announced Soonyoung, smile audible in his voice. Jihoon sat up on the couch, briefly stealing a glance towards the clock on the wall before finally meeting Soonyoung’s eyes.

“You’re late.”

“You were waiting for me.” It wasn’t a question, it was more of an observation and Jihoon could only look at him with disbelief, eyebrows rising.

“Why would I wait for you?”

Soonyoung’s soft and affectionate eyes were fixed on Jihoon, his heart hammering loudly in his ears as he imagined that Jihoon’s reasons to wait for him awake until so late probably matched his own reasons to hurry back home after work. He kept quiet for a short moment, breathing deeply to try and lower the erratic rhythm of his heart without much success. Jihoon raised one eyebrow at him, a curious expression taking form on his face and Soonyoung finally moved, taking his hoodie off and discarding it carelessly onto a chair before walking to the couch and throwing himself face up on it, head landing softly on Jihoon’s lap.

Jihoon gasped, surprised by the sudden weight thrown on him.

“You missed me.” Said Soonyoung, looking up at Jihoon, his eyes cutely curved with a smile.

“Just what do you think you’re doing? I’m not your pillow,” he said, lips furrowed but not moving a single finger to get Soonyoung off him.

“So you did miss me.”

“Uh? What makes you think that?”

Soonyoung could think of a few reasons to argue his point – Jihoon waiting awake on the couch with the TV turned off, Jihoon not immediately denying it when Soonyoung said it, Jihoon not pushing him off his lap yet – but he didn’t have to. It was pointless to argue what was so obvious.

“It’s only fair,” he said after a bit, making sure Jihoon’s eyes were focused on him and then he added, sweetly and sincere, “only fair for you to miss me a bit when I missed you so much all day, don’t you think?”

Jihoon’s ears turned a vibrant red, his cheeks tinted pink as his eyes closed in what Soonyoung thought looked like embarrassment.

“I seriously don’t understand you sometimes.”

“That was pretty straight forward. Although I really wouldn’t mind if you decide you need to stick around to try and decipher me, we have time for that, all of this life if you desire,” he smiled cheekily at Jihoon. The spirit narrowed his eyes at him before flickering his forehead hard.

Soonyoung screeched, surprised by the sudden hit, one of his hands reaching immediately to caress the sore spot on his forehead.

“You’re mean,” said Soonyoung, lips stretched on a pout. He wanted to complain some more, just for the sake of it, but found himself speechless when Jihoon… giggled? It was soft and sweet and so, so endearing he wasn’t able to do or say anything else. The next thing he knew was that Jihoon’s hand was on his own, removing it from his forehead and coming back up to replace it, fingers softly removing some strands of hair from his forehead before settling lightly there. 

Jihoon’s hand was warm, he felt the spot on his forehead burn and the heat slowly spread down. He tried hard to keep his face impassive, not wanting Jihoon to know how much chaos such a simple action had provoked on him. He breathed softly through his nose to try and keep his cool but it was hard when Jihoon was looking at him with that smile. 

“I take you’re not scared of me eating your soul anymore, offering your entire life to me like that,” Jihoon’s voice was light but his smile was playful, and Soonyoung could only look at him, startled, a thought rapidly forming in his mind and almost slipping out of his mouth.

_“You’re mean but I would probably give you my soul if you asked.”_

He choked, alarmed at how close he had been to voicing the thought out loud. Sure, he could tell Jihoon he had missed him and could go as far as to insinuate he didn’t want the other to ever leave, but telling Jihoon he would be willing to give him his soul was different. He knew what it meant for a spirit – _‘if a human and a spirit love each other that’s usually what happens’_ that’s what Jihoon had said when they met. Marriage, between a human and a spirit. His heart lost his constant rhythm as he imagined the face Jihoon would make if he suddenly insinuated he would agree if the other asked for his hand in marriage – _his soul in marriage?_ – yeah, however that worked he wasn’t sure and he couldn’t care less right now, he was only glad he hadn’t said it out loud.

“Are you okay? You’re so red,” Jihoon softly caressed Soonyoung’s temple with his thumb. Soonyoung didn’t know if Jihoon was aware of what he was doing or if he even suspected the effect it had on him.

“‘m ‘kay,” he mumbled, words struggling a little to come out with the way his heart was throbbing in his throat.

“If you’re okay then get off me,” Soonyoung couldn’t take his request seriously when his voice was so light and his hand felt grounding and comforting on his forehead still. 

“Sorry, can’t do.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” 

It was hard to concentrate with Jihoon’s thumb constantly drawing circles in his temple, he felt a weird mix of things he didn’t know was possible, his internal chaos slowly being settled by the motion of Jihoon’s finger, calmness starting to coexist within the mess of his heart. It was pleasant and he didn’t want it to ever stop.

He looked at Jihoon with his eyes barely open, his features relaxed and the smallest smile still hanging sweetly in his mouth and said, “we need to recharge.”

“Recharge?” The way Jihoon’s voice had risen at the end had been funny, the familiar way his eyebrows moved in confusion was endearing to him.

“Yeah, you said it yourself,” Soonyoung’s voice was calm, his eyes closing completely. “Me being close is good for you.”

“I didn’t mean this close, you know? Just sit on your half of the couch.”

His smile grew big at Jihoon’s words. _His half of the couch_ , that implied half of the couch was Jihoon’s and Soonyoung loved it, that it seemed like Jihoon was starting to feel his place as his own.

“Not possible,” he said simply, eyes still closed, Jihoon’s warmth incredibly comfortable. He heard Jihoon try and stifle a laugh, it didn’t sound frustrated or annoyed and Soonyoung felt so light, so… happy.

“Why?” Asked Jihoon after a second and Soonyoung finally opened his eyes again, soft gaze on Jihoon and it felt so natural, so easy, being this close.

“I also need to recharge,” he smiled cheekily, “This works better for me.”

“That makes no sense, you don’t need to recharge.”

“Wrong. My energy levels are dangerously low right now, I’m hungry and sleepy and I need to recharge.”

“Then eat and sleep.”

Soonyoung pouted slightly at that, turning himself in Jihoon’s lap to face his stomach instead, pressing his face against it. Jihoon’s hand that had been in his forehead found a new place on his hair, his fingers moving through the already messy strands making Soonyoung sigh deeply into Jihoon’s shirt.

“I need my daily dose of Jihoon,” It came out a bit muffled but he knew Jihoon had understood him, if the way the hand in his hair had stilled completely for a second as if surprised was anything to go by.

“How did you manage before me then?”

“I was lonely,” the words came out before he could even process them, and it felt almost like a confession. The silence that came after stretched for a little bit too long. Jihoon had asked as a way of teasing Soonyoung and his answer had been too sincere. Soonyoung moved, trying to look into Jihoon’s expression but not being able from his current angle so he rolled into his back once more, wanting to make eye contact.

Jihoon looked into his eyes, his expression serious but somehow relaxed, and before Soonyoung could say something to fill the silence Jihoon’s hand on his head moved to cover his eyes.

“Me too,” he heard Jihoon say, almost as low as a whisper.

The moment felt intimate in a way Soonyoung hadn’t really experienced before, they weren’t really looking at each other anymore, Soonyoung’s heart too erratic to endure it but just being able to bask in the feeling of Jihoon, his hand once more tangling in between his messy strands of hair was more than he could ask for. At least for now.

They stayed like that until the soft _tap, tap, tap_ of rain could be heard starting to hit the window glass and Soonyoung was surprised that, for what felt like the first time in his life, the rain didn’t make him feel empty. There was no way to feel empty when he was filled to the brim with everything Jihoon made him feel.

He looked at Jihoon, wondering if the other felt similar to him and saw him looking towards the window. Just his expression was enough for Soonyoung to know. He smiled, enjoying the comfortable and safe feeling he had and confident that Jihoon felt the same.

They didn’t move until Soonyoung’s stomach broke the silence with an embarrassingly loud growl and Soonyoung had to stop and question himself if he was dreaming when Jihoon stood up without any warning and his head fell heavily on the couch. He looked at the other with curiosity and saw him enter the kitchen and take a big ramen packet out of a cabinet. 

“What are you doing?” Soonyoung asked, sitting up on the couch.

“Ramen.”

Soonyoung walked to the kitchen counter and sat on one of the stools.

“For me?” He asked when Jihoon turned around and looked at him, the jar of kimchi they kept in the fridge on his hands. No rice on sight whatsoever.

“I got hungry,” answered Jihoon shortly, his ears tinted pink and Soonyoung knew it was just an excuse. Jihoon was shy and precious like that.

“Thank you.” 

“What for?”

“The ramen, of course,” Soonyoung looked at Jihoon who was setting two empty bowls next to the stove, moving to stir the noodles in the pot right after.

“I’m not cooking this for you, though,” he said without looking at Soonyoung and although his voice sounded somewhat convincing it was easy to see through him. 

“So you’re eating two bowls by yourself?”

“I might if you don’t shut up,” Jihoon glanced at him over his shoulder and Soonyoung giggled, pretending to zip his lips and letting Jihoon get the food ready in silence.

They were all set just five minutes later, sitting next to each other on the counter, each with a steaming bowl of ramen in front and kimchi as a side dish.

Soonyoung started to eat immediately, stuffing his mouth with a little too hot noodles. They were good. It was just some instant noodles but it filled up to his heart knowing Jihoon made them for him. He ate up his entire bowl and eyed Jihoon next to him, whose bowl was untouched still, the spirit’s eyes focused on him.

“It was delicious Jihoonie, thank you.”

Jihoon just looked at him and silently pushed his own bowl until it was in front of Soonyoung.

“What?” Soonyoung was surprised and Jihoon was flushed. Soonyoung’s heart couldn’t be still when it came to Jihoon, there was just no way.

“Just eat, okay?”

Soonyoung looked at the full bowl in front of him, he could definitely eat another share. He took his chopsticks again and before starting to eat, said, “I thought you were hungry.”

“I lost my appetite.” 

Soonyoung stuffed his mouth with a large string of noodles and smiled brightly after swallowing.

“You cooked this for me.”

“Shut up! I lost my appetite after seeing you stuff your face like some savage,” he shrugged his face as if indicating that Soonyoung was disgusting but Soonyoung’s happy feeling was unbeatable, he smiled brighter.

“You cooked this for me and I really appreciate it.”

“Why would I cook for you?”

“It’s clear that Jihoonie cares about me.”

“I’ll flick your forehead again, don’t try me.”

He enjoyed the way Jihoon’s eyes were fixed on him, observing him stick more noodles into his mouth and chew with a smile. He breathed easily, swallowing and looking at Jihoon, the muffled rain sound outside barely reaching them and he felt so much at ease it was almost scary.

“You’ve grown a soft spot for me,” he said, sticking his hand out to take a piece of kimchi with his chopsticks and stick it right into his mouth.

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon warned, narrowing his eyes at him, “just shut up and finish your food already.”

“I can think of a good way of shutting me up…” He wasn’t sure of what was in his mind when his eyes traveled down from Jihoon’s eyes and fixed intently on the other’s lips, the words rolling off his tongue with such easiness his heart had trouble coping right after.

Jihoon gasped audibly at the words and Soonyoung looked back up into his eyes, every fear of having overstepped vanishing with Jihoon’s roll of eyes and the way his face painted an impossibly dark and hot red. Jihoon raised one of his hands and got it closer to Soonyoung’s forehead, flickering position all set and just when Soonyoung closed his eyes, expecting the hit, he felt soft fingers move his fringe out of his forehead instead. 

Soonyoung opened his eyes, surprised, and the way Jihoon’s eyes sweetly crinkled on the sides while observing him made it so easy for Soonyoung to imagine what it would be like, reaching his hand to cradle his pink and warm cheek and following along to meet his lips with his own.

“Just eat you idiot, don’t make me repeat myself so much.”

He finished his noodles – the noodles Jihoon made for him – with a big smile and a light heart.

…

Soonyoung got in bed a bit later, right after brushing his teeth next to Jihoon and finally saying good night from his door and not being able to enter his room until the door to Jihoon’s room was completely closed off. He walked to his bed and wondered if he was being foolish by feeling so happy but not really caring about the answer. Love was always a little bit foolish and that was okay.

He closed his eyes under the soft fabric of his blanket and found the incessant rain sound almost pleasant in a weird way. 

He fell asleep in no time, his dreams strangely filled with rain.

…

_The strong and vibrant colors around him were strangely out of place. Too vivid, too intense, especially when he could feel cold and gentle raindrops wetting his clothes and skin._

_He felt a warm hand on his own, familiar, comfortable. His feet started to move, running through too tall trees and too colorful flowers, rain incessantly hitting his face._

_He wanted to look to the side, to the presence running alongside him, to the owner of such heated skin on his hand, but he found himself unable, rain heavier and heavier around, his own skin colder and colder while his insides felt incredibly scorching hot._

_The hand on his own tugged hard and suddenly there were no more drops hitting his skin, his clothes felt heavy and the sound of rain resounded hard around but was soon muffled by a laugh, loud and precious next to him, and when he looked to the source he was blinded._

_A warmth like the one still tightly clasped on his hand was suddenly on his neck, pulling him hard, the presence in front big as the ocean, his breath as soft velvet against his skin, the weight of his lips perfect on his own._

…

He woke up abruptly, hyper-aware of his surroundings and the heavy memory of his dream tugging at his heart, blood rushing through his body rapidly, ears buzzing with the sound of his heartbeat. He sat up, his blanket slipping off his bed in the process, eyes fixed on his tingling hand, the unmistakable sensation of another hand on his own, grasp strong and skin so impossibly warm, so real.

The feeling stayed there for a while until later in the morning while he walked to the studio and before he could realize it, it disappeared from his mind with the fresh breeze on his face. 

He didn’t remember about it until much later, walking down the street with Jihoon next to him, the sun setting somewhere far on the horizon while they made their way to the grocery store.

Jihoon’s hand was so close to his own as they walked it would be so easy for him to reach and hold it. As the thought materialized in his mind so did the light tingle in his hand, as low sparks of electricity all over his skin. He held his breath in for a second, stealing a glance at Jihoon. 

He had nothing to lose, the tingling in his hand was intense as he reached silently to take Jihoon’s hand in his own. Jihoon looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Recharging?” Offered Soonyoung. Jihoon looked away but didn’t push his hand away and Soonyoung’s heart felt too big for his chest as they walked together hand in hand. Jihoon had to know it had been an excuse but had allowed it anyway and he didn’t know what to make of it, all he knew was that it felt right, Jihoon’s skin against his own, the tingling replaced by something different, a comfortable feeling that extended all over and _all was good._

The silly smile he surely had on his face couldn’t even begin to express how happy and right he felt at the moment. Maybe Jihoon wasn’t ready to accept his feelings just yet, or maybe it was Soonyoung who wasn’t ready to ask for more just yet, but whatever they had going on between them felt too real, too deep and promising. They could keep the slow steady pace and Soonyoung somehow knew it would be okay in the end. Wish be damned, Jihoon’s hand on his own was better than a thousand wishes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! When I thought of this story I imagined it being really soft and fluff filled and I think is not so far from what I had in mind! ❤️ Let's enjoy the calm before some more conflict inevitably arises at some point lol 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading this and take care always! See you next chapter!


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